RaILiNg GeRrL

2007-03-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

I WANT BATTLE SINGLE RIGHT NOW!!!

I WANT IT BADLY!!!

2007-03-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

okies.
i'm updating about my loves.

siwonnie is like old in this pic.
i mean, he is old.
but he should not wear this glasses to look more older.
(p.s. look at those pimples.)
I LOVE MY CHARMING GUY MUCHOS!!!

my ryu on the other hand, i noticed that he loves to smile.
he will never fail to smile.
espcially in this pic.

he smiles even when he sleep.
this is the ride back home after meeting his family.
I LOVE MY NICE GUY MUCHOS!!!

OMG.
i'm like finally in love.
seriously, in love with a REAL person.
but i don't know how to react though.
so i'm passing it away.

he knows i love him for him.
not cause he's famous.
and also not cause he's good looking.
he's just him.
i'm just me, clueless about his status.

2007-03-11T01:30:00.001+08:00

okay. look at how adorable kihyun is. he's like tired after their practice which ended at 4am. who wouldn't? i would just pass out of exhaustion. worst still BAGGY EYES.

kihyun can still look as adorable and pretty. =)).

2007-03-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

chris is the girl, as expected CANDICE!!! heh.

i haven't been really fair to my siwonnie oppa. so here you go. I STILL LOVE YOU!!!

2007-03-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

[LIO] I am Battle's Magnae*, Lio

Hello everyone
It's been a while right?
I am at Kangin-hyung's Chungbangjichook radio show right now with Ryu.
The radio show already started so I am left with manager.
This is a sad reality [he means situation i think]
I suddenly felt weird and asked my manager "what's the meaning of life?"
It comes and goes [what does (lailaiwangwang) mean? cause this girl apparently doesn't know whether this is the right translation.], why is life so hard?
Manager: 'Why do you eat?'
Lio: 'To not suffer from hunger.'
Manager: 'You eat because you're hungry.'
Lio: 'Ahhhh'
The question ends like this
(At this moment, Ryu gives a good performance. He teases me and laughs at me, "why? why? get up fast!". To the listeners, please turn your volumes down a bit or you might get deaf)
Thinking about it, I eat because of tasty foods.
I am also saying that 'I am a singer not because I love music, but I love music that's why I am a singer'
You don't understand me? Don't worry, it seems like I have to go now.
Ryu's done. This [question] does not give any help to me. Haha
ByeBye~!
-Battle's magnae, Lio-

*magnae = youngest member/the member with the least experience

(p.s. i think i'm beginning to love the REAL LIO & RYU. i know this is like an old entry but Lio's & Ryu's love are finally growing on me and giving impact on me. BATTLE *imitating ryu's accent* SIMIDA.) omo, SO CUTE!

"YO! john jae hah nah een sheek dweh uh jeel soo uhp duhn shee gahn
guh cheen poong pah yeh jwah choh dweh mah jee moht hae haet duhn pi nahn
guhp jaeng ee gah chee soom uh doh chah jah wah gweh rohp heen goh nahn
bee nahn geu ruhn nah bah rahm chuh ruhm bang hwang haet jee mahn

nuh moo heem gyuhp geh sahl ah ohn nae een saeng eh geh ee moh deun geh
nae gah seum eul tae yang boh dah duh ddeu guhp geh
CUZ, SUNSHINE ON ME, AND FINALLY
juh hah neul eul hyang hae nahl gae reul pyuh nae"

2007-03-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

Some interesting facts about BATTLE.

-Ryu is the oldest & is the protective leader.
-HwiChan replaced JangHyun, who was originally picked by DongWan.
-Chris is from California, thus, his english is like perfect-o.
-Lio studied in China & is now fluent in Chinese.
-KiHyun is the tallest with the biggest eyes.
-Ryu sends 3 members to the bathroom so he won’t lose one. (i think this is super cute!)
-HwiChan’s parent worked long hours, he lived with his grandma for the past 18 years.
-TaeHwa won the popularity award of Let’s CokePlay Battle Shinhwa. (UGH)
-KiHyun is very playful but also very completive.
-Chris loves food and enjoys cooking for the members.
-Lio was featured in JunJin’s solo career under the track “Come Back”.
-Ryu used to be a model, and now he wants to pursue acting on top of being a singer. (WOOHOO!! YOU GOT MY SUPPORT MAN!!!)
-TaeHwa can do a freaky, amazing, perfect imitation of Xiah from TVXQ. (Brian Joo also can lah, TSK!)
-HwiChan’s realised that his grandma had passed right after he was eliminated. (OMO. HC, my heart beats for you.)
-KiHyun often slouches to make the other members seem a bit taller. (that's thoughtful!)
-Chris has the most interesting and cutest signature, it’s of a face.
-Lio is very passionate about learning, he is currently learning English. (YAY. TIGHT LAPPER LIO!!!)
-TaeHwa’s birthday falls on New Years; double the celebration. (like sungmin loh. wads the big deal? lol. sungmin is way way cuter!)

credits: Battle MySpace Fanpage

guess what? i didn't get to watch the whole epi of school of rock.
only bits.
UGH.

but i love love ryu in mnet school of rock.
not only that.
EVERYTIME AS WELL!!!

mine, mine & candice's

2007-03-07T00:15:00.000+08:00

i just came to say how much i love him.

guess what?
my long awaiting prayers have been answered.
WON SEUNGJAE!!! ahem. RYU DYED HIS HAIR BACK TO A DARK COLOUR!!!
MY PARK JI WOON TOO! ahem. LIO!!!

i think maybe it's for their new single coming out.
I CAN'T WAIT!!!

i love my two hotstuffs from BATTLE.

2007-03-03T21:58:00.000+08:00

finally, i see my hankyung oppa's appearance.

at "The Calvin Klein Jeans/underwear Spring Presentation & Party".

he looks sick. if he is, i wish him all the best!

2007-03-03T20:45:00.000+08:00

youtube is killing me softly...

2007-03-03T20:30:00.000+08:00

[Eeteuk] Diary Entry
2007.03.02 at 03:20 PM
"Please stop pulling prank calls.. my phone won't spoil like that..I wanna solve it today.. please I beg of you..Also please don't hack into my account.. please don't do that..Without any reservations I present myself to you so please don't hurt me for no good reasonDon't do these kinda weird stuff.. I will tolerate this, this will be the last time."

ee teuk oppa, hwaiting.
i despised those people who STILL prank call him.
UNBELIEVABLE!!!

2007-03-02T21:05:00.000+08:00

i thought siwon's gonna be MIA.
cause he's like not in SUJU T nor is he on kiss the radio.
nor he is not appearing in my everyday life.
sometimes, i feel that siwon may not be my NUMBER 1.
BUT I PERSEVERED and then the next day, there is a video about siwon's visit to Thailand ALONE for "shooting 12 plus CF"
what's that actually ah? i'm like clueless.
at the end, he was singing ROKKUGUH.
so adorable.

but GAHHH.

LOL.
i wanna thank ber, bugs & sonia for being my lighting pen friend buddies. fadho, for joining in last minute. and yea, DEVELOPED PHOTOS. i am contented with the developed pics. thought the YUNHO one was like not printed the way i wanted it and the siwon's pics was cut off. his blardy cute pic at the corner was cut off. who says i'm not furious?

ms lui returned our test papers, like YAY.
i thought she's gonna return to us like next term or somthing but she didn't.
i think i'm liking her more now.
HEH.

i'm in a very pissy mood with one of my friend right now.
she's like so action, kay?
why does she think she's always right?
doesn't she know that SHE HERSELF can make mistake.
why must we be the one to sacrifice for HER?
why? you wanna try the sacrificial method ah?
i think by that time , i'll rust faster than you. ouh don't mind me, i'm starting to crap all over again.

this week's tuition is cancelled.
just when i'm all excited to see my tutor's sister who's gonna teach me this year.
darn. i brought all the textbook home to think that there's tuition but it was cancelled like last minute lah.
GAHHH.

i had a great time tofay wih qah & naf.
i was laughing too much at the bus stop and almost wanna pee there.
it was too cold.
lucky i could control my bladder.
LOL LOL.
i love the present that we bought for chelsea.
i hope she likes it.
many sorry to chelsea cause i'm unable to attend your birthday party, darl.
why am i so dumb?
she doesn't even go to this blog lah.
but i shall put it anyhoos.

you know what?
i think legacy period had made me realise something.
losing the one you love is difficult.
i mean, it IS.
TO YOU PEOPLE WHO THINK I'M TALKING ABOUT HADY, YOU ARE SO WRONG!
i'm talking abt my pri. 6 best friend.
we've like known each other for 6 years.
but since she was posted to cedar, she's been really tao/dao and all.
she's like correcting all my english mistakes and so on.
everything i did wasn't right to her.
so, i was fed-up. i told her off and yea, we broke up.

all i wanna say is that to you people who have been friends with me, i wanna thank you for being there for me always.
your company keeps me safe and happy.
when i'm down, you make all my troubles seem to far away.
QAH, my best friend of four years. you've been there for me since the beginning. since i was lost in sec 1. i still remember we sat beside each other at music room but we didn't talk to each other cause i thought you were fierce. you know, you had THAT LOOK. but after getting to know you, i realise you're my the other half. you came, you listened and you're always by my side when i needed you. i wanna thank you for that. and if there's one day when we had a quarrel and never talk to each other again, i knew that i have told you how much you mean to me. you know if i had to choose between you and something else, i would definitely pick you cause i know you'll always be there for me. let's keep our friday lunching a permanent schedule, okay? I LOVE YOU!
FADHO, even though we've known each other for 4 years, i only get closer to you last year. you've been the gurl whom i turn to in times of need. and you understand my feelings and all. thanks for being there. and also thanks for letting me usik you without being emotionally hurt. keep that happy-go-lucky attitude of yours, alright? and and SARANGHAMIDA.
NAF, you cool, lovable, heck care woman. you never fail to crack a joke with me. i feel that's what connects us together the most. even though you don't care about anything, i know that you're the most caring person. how? go figure! you always company me when i asked you to. and i never forget our shopping spree experience. the three weeks extended studies time i spent with you ROCKS! you lend a helping ear when i need someone to talk to. you're also my one stop source of food. you gave me choco pie, jap food & the DBSK sticks. for helping me with that, i wanna say thank you and SAYA CINTA KAMU!
NAZ, i know that i'm drifting apart from you. but i realise that you're a friend that i could turn to when i needed help. you were there for me when i had some problems with my new classmates. you were there beside me. i could still remember. your classic "I MALU " never fails to make me smile. i feel that we're not really chatty when we bumped into each other but all i wanna say is that you're a one true friend i can count on. I LOVE YOU!!!
BER, TAB, BUGS & SONIA. you guys rock my socks! you're the best classmates that i could ever ask for. well, not really. you guys just have different personalities that i can connect with. sonia, the soft-spoken. bugs, the bugger. tab, the tabby cat. ber the janice. HEHE. i'm happy that we're getting closer. that's the spirit man!!! i'm hoping that one day we get to go out together, plus fadho. WE CAN HAVE FUN!!! YIPPEE!!! to end it all, WO AI NI!!!

ber, sonia, qah & naz. i have yet to take pics with you guys. (p.s. I LOOK LIKE A MONK UP THERE!)

love you guys loads. SARANG HAE YO!

2007-03-02T20:16:00.001+08:00

hey babes. it'sbeen a long time since i blogged.
i need to catch up with so many videos.
cause i just went to video hunting, i wanna recommend you my favourite videos.

my fav. member of BATTLE, RYU!!!
i know he can't sing. but he sure can dance and rap.
YOYO!!!
you know what? i don't wanna post LIO's battleshinhwa vid because he looks too SEXy in the video until i change my mind about him and all.
GAWD.

this video is too adorable.
look at hyuk & teuk reading & talking in english.
they're like a bunch of lost rappers in translation.
i like when teukie went all excited and say I LOVE YOU. with his expressions and all.
it's just PRICELESS.
and hyuk was like "i'm jewel guy". he's so cute laaaah.
i <3>
eh. how can i sent my message to them arh? i wanna try mannn.

this video is for boring sake.
i was so spazzing for new battle videos but there was like none on youtube and soompi is giving up on me.
UGH.
anyways, the highlight for this video is that RYU CARRIED MY FRIGGING ADORABLE DONGWAN!!!
haha. do you notice that all shinhwa members are shorter than battle members?
ouh yea, i like th last part too.
got my SOLO DONGWAN.

this video is good to see CHRIS & HWICHAN ONLY.
haha. kihyun don't look good in this, i'm sorry to say.
chris SANG SUPERBLY WELL.
hwichan as usual have the roughness in his voice that makes him identifiable. (is that such a word? =P)
and this is like one of my fav. song from shinhwa.
HOW DO I NAN NEOL SARANG HAE.

this is by far my fav. miracle performance out of all the ones i've seen.
i know like it's a long time ago video but i love this vid the best.
you now why?
cause siwon's reaction and expressions in this performance is too cute for me to handle.
remember his solo line when reaching almost the end? he shook his head and THAT FACE.
I WAS SQUEALING when i saw THAT FACE.
HEE. =)).

"gakkeum seotureun nae mami uril himdeulge hal ttaedo."

2007-02-24T19:45:00.000+08:00

OMO.

RYU WAS DANCING SEXILY WITH THIS GIRL ON MNET SCHOOL OF ROCK!!!
MY LIO KENA HARASSED.
what more can i want?

video ------->

LUCKY GIRL!!!
at the same time, I HATE HER.

GAHHH.

Ryu's dance was HOT, but the girl did not even danced back lah!!! FAVOURATISM!!!
Chris is very cute in his dance.
TaeHwa's dance is also very... CUTE. HEH. the girl DANCE BACK TO HIM. DARN her. LOL.
Lio did a few steps, then the gurl hugged him!!!
Kihyun did the S dance. very long. umm. i mean TALL.
HwiChan didn't dance. GAHHH. (p.s. i bet he was terrified.)

this is more hilarious.
a SCARY girl pounced on HwiChan.
well, not really. i'm just exaggerating.

video ------------->

lio and taehwa. debuting days.

ryu and chris. debuting days.

taehwa and kihyun. (this, i don't know when.)

jang hyun & hwichan. (jang hyun was replaced by hwichan because he wanted to carry on with his studies. i think he will have a tough time cause he's not well, attractive. sorry.)

p.s. why heechul did not speak a lot and look like he's sick in the SUJU T's interview video? poor guy. anyhoos, HWAITING!!!

2007-02-23T21:25:00.000+08:00

hey dudies.
i'm in a superbly happy mood now.
do you like my new blogskin picture?
HEH. TYPICAL WIDA.

anyways, i went to CC just now and bought my siwon photobook.
I AM SO DARN CONTENTED, you know?
there's like tons of siwon pictures inside plus there is free calender.
the cover is like super advance sia.
i mean, it's not just a normal cover.
it's like a new storybook cover.
I LOVE THE SMELL~ (and the sight of course. HEH.)

darn, now i got two calanders. (before adding the cute babies calenders & CLEO bachelors' calenders.) this month is sungminnie.

yesterday i bought A LOT OF stuff lah.
i think i'm like BROKE since now on.
i even borrowed my bro's money so as the siwon's photobook will not be taken away by someone else.
i bought lotsa stickers cause they just stocked up.
and i heard like a lot of iritataing girls saying, "WU CHUUUNN. ahhhh. i want wu chun poster. i got $20 to spend on wu chun's merchandise today."
i was practically the only one who was searching for DBSK & SUJU stuffs.
i was like an outcast.
LOL.

you know what?
when i took the MRT just now, there's this girl who was standing infront of me and her bag's zip was filled with DBSK picture cards.
Jaejoong lah, U KNOW lah... and another person.
i couldn't see who.
wahh. at least someone is a fan of DBSK and not WU CHUUUUN ah.
LOL. i sound like a moronic moron.

anyhoos, i had my usual outing with my best friend, atiqah.
she has a boyfriend. his name is SAMAD. (HAHA.)
actually, nolah. that's the racoon or is it squirrel stuff toy that i gave her for her birthday.
her sister call it SAMAD and her brother called it SAFWAN.
FUNNY. both starts with SA.

when i was walking around, i saw something that i think fadho would like.
and it was at reasonable price, i think.
i'll give her on Monday.
HEHE.
i hope you'll like it babe.
DBSK stickers for mrs wookie.
sidetracking, i think that wookie looks good with curls.
and siwon looks good just the way he is. (HEH.)

i watched the Rokkuguh video.
OMG. TEUKIE LOOKS SUPER CUTE!!!
i love him in this video.
like finally he has a long solo.
and he's so adorable.
plus shindong.
sungmin is so CUTE!!!
i love love his hair.
stylo to the milo.

his expressions are just priceless. ANGEL TEUKIE TEUKIE. (blur. caps. =((. )

i think my ki bum love is slowly returning to me.
WHEEEEE.
cause i just watched "SJ meet GONGBUWARAC".
i like the part when both ki bum & siwon is in the studio.
their laughter is so... CUTE.
and siwon is EVER SO GORGEOUS.
he wrote on the board summore.
but there's no han geng. no fun. i think his laughter is the most adorable thing on earth.

*adorable*

*cheeky*

OUH YARH.
MNET SCHOOL OF ROCK FEATURED BATTLE.
NOT FAIR.
THEY SANG ICARUS TO THE GIRLS SCHOOL LAH.
and i just knew that RYU SANG THE FIRST PART OF THE RAP.
I KNEW IT LAH.
he's my love.
my two loves - RYU & LIO. (sorry it's blur. it's caps.) THEY HUGGED EACH OTHER LAH WHEN PERFORMING. LOVE THEM TO BITS.

SARANGHAMIDA DUDETTES!!!
darn, stella kim IS pretty.

Stella Kim

2007-02-21T17:45:00.000+08:00

nah. Stella Kim. =)).

why am i smiling?

i have no idea. all i know is siwon's made for me.

HEH HEH.

2007-02-21T17:40:00.000+08:00

i am frigging pissed.
nafisah said the siwon's lame?
and ki bum cause he don't do much talking?

well miss,
I DISAGREE!
Ki Bum is like talking more now, and i'm very very happy already. he became more friendlier. and i love that!
and SIWONNIE OPPA IS NOT THAT LAME, kay?
he's macho, charming, HOT and the list goes on...
and i love him to bits. i love them to bits.
more on siwon's part by the way.

gahhh.
nafisah likes HANKYUNGIE.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
HE'S OUT OF REACH!!!
lol.

i have like tons of pictures of Hankyung but he doesn't look good. ouh wells, here you go,

ouh wadeva, as long as NO ONE give bad comments on siwon, then it's okay.
exceptional to those who really really know siwon inside out.
but she's like my closest friend and she likes hankyung?
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
HAHA.
i'm acting like a total maniac.
we should be gracious and share.

okie. i will.
BUT NOT MY SIWON.
HEH.

i just saw my siwon dancing on an old episode of loveletter and that made my day. =)).

i think he looks very SMART with specs on. ouh wadeva he has on doesn't make a difference anyway. =)).

p.s. funny how fadho thinks she's tall. LOL. i still love you darl. =)). and if i'm going korean shopping, i'll invite you too. and candice as well. YIPPEE. we can have FUN. yea baybee. YEA.

pogo shimneyo.

2007-02-20T22:35:00.002+08:00

i miss my siwonnie.
somebody please take me away from my misery.

2007-02-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

heylo...

i'm feeling very HAPPY todayyy!!!
cause i just came back from shopping with my mum.
i bought a beads set.
don't ask me why.
the bead letters make me wanna lala~
haha.
ouh yea.
i wanna blog about our outing. (me, fadho & naf)
last saturday we went out SHOPPING.
actually, i asked them out to accompany me go korean shopping.
but trust me, i didn't buy much.
i think mise like burn your pockets for nuts.
i can like buy muh cheaper stuffs from comics connection or just developthe pictures myself.
and yea, i couldn't find any battle goodies!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

haha.
but i bought one picture though.
i think the only one that's worth it.
it's like an old picture anyhoos.
we went window shopping around orchard cine.
fadho went crazy after seeing cute ring note book from "more than words". but too bad, it's left one and in a bad condition.
it's the goalith brand too.
and we went to the sembawang music store and i saw fahrenheit's photobook.
maybe i'm gonna get them.
but seeing the situation now, it's like impossible.
i have like a list of things that i want.
- 18 vs. 29 VCD
- SUJU KL Photobook
- BATTLE single. =))
- bronze belt
- suspenders
- peep toe shoe
- posters (any korean band)
- wallet!!!
- fahrenheit photobook
out of 8, i know i'll get 3 of them when my birthday comes.

ouh yea, outside the sembawang music store is the turning turning machine.
the three of us went to the machine like some nut head gurls.
screaming here and there.
but too bad, there wasn't anyone to shush us.
naf & fadho got this boy with a bird on his head, i think.
i got the penguin.
it's just sad we didn't get the keroppi cause it looks like... (L_P_Z!!!)
please someone agree with me.
HAHA.
i was just planning to give that keroppi to her on teachers' day.

and did i ever tell you HOW MUCH I LOVE NAFISAH???
i love her too much.
she helped me out a lot lah.
she's so cool as cucumber.
and to think that she's sometimes a bit too malas. (p.s. lazy)
she help me ask for the SUJU pic and she's buying for me the food that i want so badly.
i'm waiting anticipatingly for the food. =))

fadho was funny as usual.
we wanted to eat at Ramen Tien. (okay, pardon me if it's the wrong spelling)
but we ended up at Burger King cause we thought it was not filling.
and yea, nafisah ordered for me.
whee.
love her for nuts again.
and during this outing, fadho's shoe tore.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
lucky she had wanted to buy shoes on that day.
if not, she'll be walking with a chao ta shoe.
LOL.
and guess what?? it's her sister's shoes. the one she bought for her sister.
GOSH. she is so FUNNY lah.
like finally, she bought a pair of shoes.
if not, we are still going round finding for the perfect pair.
i bought a stretchable brown belt that i've been wanting to buy.
fadho bought a striking pink stretchable belt. (which reminds us of sungmin and to me, candice.)
pinkdanhobak.
???
okay, i don't know what that means though.

life is so EXCITING with you guys around.
- naf & fadho (my shopping mates)
- can, tab, sonia & fadho (my korean mates)
- qah, naz, syaz & nad (my pirates)

p.s. guess what? my bro got an MP4 from his GF!!!!!
the unfairness. imagine i had to buy myself.

it's been a long time since i post pics.
here you go!!!

ouh no. don't tell me they like have the same hair?

I MISS HIM LIKE A LOT LAH. CAUSE I LOVE HIM LIKE A LOT LAH. the E.L.F. people are so frigging lucky.

i think park jung min looks superbly good here. plus hyun joong is looking soo elegant. HEH. >.<

p.s. dongwan's & hyesung's cuteness is growing on me. xiah's Jyoo-li-ang is just as adorable.

2007-02-14T22:33:00.000+08:00

do you notice that siwon always clap his hands when he laughs?
{ so cute! }
do you know that i too clap my hands when i laugh?
{ so -.- }

heee. =))

2007-02-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

HELLO PEEPS!!!

yoyo, what's up man?
haha. suddenly, i turn into blackies.

you know what?
i did celebrated Hankyung's birthday.
it's only like half cake lah.
my mum asked me last saturday whether i crave for chocolate cake.
then i was like eh... HANKYUNG'S BIRTHDAY.
my mum resisted on buying cause i said hankyung's name but at last, she gave in.
so i got a yummy cake to commemorate (is this correct?) hakyung's birthday.

i just hope my siwonnie will get the same treatment.
no no.

it will be much much EXCLUSIVE.
HEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

p.s. and and and i just watched the birthday video.

Hakyung's laughter is soooo adorable.plus his real name was on the cake. how wonderful!!! but then again, siwon is so lucky to have two birthday dates. TSK. ouh yea, i was wondering, what did hankyung gave the girl??? SHE IS ONE LUCKY GIRL, lah. KI BUM IS TALKING. haha. *i'm shocked*

2007-02-09T21:45:00.000+08:00

i just dropped by to say....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
SELAMAT HARI JADI!!!
ZHU NI SHENG RI KUAI LE!!!

to HAKNYUNGIE OPPA!!!

SARANGHAMIDA. SARANG HAE YO. I LOVE YOU. SAYA CINTAKAN KAMU. WO AI NI.

NI AI WO MAH? haha. KIDDING. cause i know he has a girlfriend. *heart breaks*

pssssst. i'm in no mood. ask the twos. SLAP them.

2007-02-02T22:52:00.000+08:00

whoopee.
i'm happy not because exams are over.
cause they absolutely aren't.
HAHA.

i'm hyper and happy now cause i have lotsa siwonnie pics.
and SUPER JUNIOR FINALLY PERFORMED TOGETHER.
without Heechul though.
they say his flight was cancelled or something.
pics from NII photoshoot.
i love this one.

and he cut his hair.
WOOH SWOONING HOT BAYBEH.
plus, his arms are like developed.
so muscular till i wanna FAINT.
hahaha.
hankyung looks GOOD with his new hairstyle.
the one on my phone is so not nice.
thank goodness he changed.
but but but i love his dancing.
FULL OF ENERGY MAN.
ee teuk looks mighty FINE, i tell you.
i love this particular pic.
though i disapprove of his hair.
but still he's cute.

ee teuk's my cutie.
siwon's my hottie.
hankyung's my dancer hotstuff.
kangin's my manly man.

even after all these, i should not forget of my BATTLE.
i still love RYU & LIO.
though LIO was claimed to be taken from me during recess.
I WILL NOT LET HIM FALL TO ANY WOMEN.
haha.
that sounds like a THREAT man.

ryu's pic before he debut. (model days)
i just love his voice, my BATTLE leader, RYU.
so LOW.

lio's pic. *hotstuff* i don't like his now hair.
makes him look like a playboy.
but still, he's my battle hottie.

a tribute to Ki Bum for his comeback.

something for Sonia....

wookie and his signature dance that make me laugh every single time...

2007-01-28T16:56:00.000+08:00

i'm like sitting here.
waiting for hana kimi's episode 8's subs when i have two CAs coming up plus a maths spring test.
how wonderful, wida?

battle is growing on me.
now i realise that it doesn't matter whether ryu has blonde hair or not cause he's still the best man!
i find that Lio is kinda too sexual.
the youtube vid where they were ask to show how are they gonna confess their love to the girl, lio straight away kiss!
that's like so horrible can?
i like hwi chan's one though and ryu is like superbly cute there as a gurl can!!!
ryu's one is like so not happening can. cause ki hyun totally ignored him.
HAHA.
but the most funniest one was ki hyun.
open window. close window.
and i just realised ryu is the leader.
i should like slap my face up and down, all round, three times.

and yea, wu zhun is cute!
i like when he transport water to ella's mouth.
haha.
jiro is superbly crazeh funny.
thinking himself as gay.
ADORABLE.
but they're like, OLD.
wu zhun's 11 years older. (plus he's born in Brunei) AHHH. RIZAL.
jiro's 10 years older.
and i just got to know that both of them are from fahrenheit.

i need to study.
go STUDY.

i can't.
i have no feel of attached with Bio.
but haha, currently finish chapters transport in mammals & respiration.
3 more chapters to go.
plus Lit.
i just hope a maths would be a blessful test.
HAHA.
in my dreams, wida.

i'm so in a jealous mood right now.

jiro's kissable lips. AHHHH!!!

2007-01-21T01:10:00.000+08:00

they never fail to make my day.

and SHINHWA makes me FLY~ esp junjin & andy. =)).

back to GEOG.

2007-01-20T01:35:00.000+08:00

** Lio, MY love. wida's love.

okie.
i take back about wanting to listen to PARAN's song because they're songs are so not OOMPH.
if you know what i mean.

i'm currently mesmerising korean bands and singers such as...
LEE SEUNG GI.
SS501.
SUPER JUNIOR.
SHINHWA.
BATTLE!!! (i'm getting mixed feelings about ryu cause he dyed his hair FRIGGING THICK BLONDE.) but nevertheless, LIO IS STILL HAWT!!! plus ki huyn's adorable. frigging adorable. =)).
BRIAN JOO.

yupp, that's about it.
and and and i love the MC for X Man & KANG HO DANG.
is that how you spelled it?
haha. they're like so entertaining lah.

OMG!!! I DID NOT JUST FORGET KIM JONG MIN!!!
*smiling widely*
and he's young?
may god bless him with youthfulness.
heeee.

before he was BLONDE.

now, with the BLONDE hair. gahh. (still love his dance though. and him TOO!!!)

tangkap pictures of BATTLE. HWAITING!!!

but no one can replace HIM still. ^-^

2007-01-14T15:50:00.000+08:00

i'm SCREWED.

take it, i won't make it. baby naekewa.

more koreanzies for my pleasure.

Chris (left) & RYU (right)!!! i just love RYU!!! and and LIO.

BATTLE!!!

SUPER JUNIOR!!!

2007-01-10T20:05:00.000+08:00

i love siteukkyung.
si = siwon
teuk = eeteuk
kyung = hankyung.

don't mind me but i've been really japanfied + koreanfied.
haha.
yea. kusano's funny and also his other friend. (doing the hand kissy thingy) =))
maybe this is what god is trying to show me.
you don't have to be sticking to just one guy all this while.
and yea, it is a waste of time.
if i had thought of this way, i would've got really good marks for FYE.
but wadeva. what's done is done.
ouh man. i'm falling in love with my cousin's laptop.
soooo frigging nice.

yea. i screwed up a maths.
BIG TIME.

ouh. and here's wishing someone's father the best of health.
i hope he'll get better soon.
i'l berdoa.
amin. =)).

gosh.
i'm stuck with snow dream in my head right now.
frigging.
and yeahhhhh. i know where to download jpop & kpop songs.

SS501! SUPER JUNIOR! BRIAN JOO! KANGTA! PARAN! LEE SEUNG GI!
here i come!!!
heee.

okies.
here you are,
someone who always brighten up my day. =)).

*swoons*

2007-01-06T18:04:00.000+08:00

i was super pissed yesterday.
i wrote a long post AT 2 AM cause with korean guys that are to DIE for but then my comp suddenly closes all the windows.
gahh. annoyed. well, i think my comp is infested with too many viruses. just waiting to go KABOOM!!!

i just realised that most of the gurls who love Super Junior is simply beacuse they're CUTE or HANDSOME? okay, seriously, they are. but learn to love them from the inside. like how people don't understand why i like hady. he may be ugly but he's nice. and that's what counts. from the INSIDE. sorry hady lovers, he's just cute not HANDSOME. haha.

i'm starting to like other korean guys beside Super Junior already. i'm surprised becase what have happened to the previous WIDA MURNI? she's suppose to hate korean. be ANTI. gahh. i'm seriously annoyed and now i want to learn korean language. this is like so nuts. someone please restrain me from all of this. it's "O" LEVELS this YEAR!! kepiiiiish.

okay, so here it goes. LEE SEUNG GI!!! man, how i love his voice! i love his song "words that are hard to say". and candice say he's gonna have a break? just when i start to like him. gahhh. anyhoos, i still love his voice. but please don't have the bowl hair. haha. it's not nice lahhh.

then it's HYUN JOONG from SS501. i saw him on the heroine 6 episode with park jung min. super super adorable. actually right, i think all korean guys are adorable except some.

besides him... BRIAN JOO. haha. he's so freaking funny lah. and i love his english accent. he's like 26 this year. 10 years older lah. haha. not bad. at least like not like hady's age gap and me what. heee. =)).

umm. who else ar. i LOVE ERU. okay, actually, i don't really know him yet. so kinda trying to get to know him. and yea, nice voice. ha. all i say nice voice. is my hearing still that good. must be all of you wondering that right now, right?

okie. for my daily obsession... EETEUK SIWON HANKYUNG KANG IN.

OMO he is like getting prettier and prettier lah. haha.

he's as hot as usual. haha. what YOU ARE TAKEN? NOOOO. you are so taken by ME. lol.

supersuper adorable.

totally to die for. haha.

toots. =)).

2007-01-06T02:00:00.000+08:00

don't they look SUPER cute? YES!!! heheeeeeeeeeeeeeee. =)).

more tomorrow.

tooties.

2006-12-24T14:35:00.000+08:00

i LOVE my BLOG!!!

and i love

- HADY MIRZA!

- LEE TEUK!

- SHI WON!

- KANG IN!

- KIBUM!

- HANKYUNG! (i pity him cause he's not featured in my blogskin, but wadeva, i love him TOO!!!)

this is in descending order.(top: i love the most) (bottom: i love the lesser, BUT STILL LOVE!)

HEHE.

2006-12-19T17:25:00.000+08:00

if only i could say it,

if only i could just say it once to him,

he would know how i feel towards him

and maybe, just maybe return back what i lost.

-my heart.

if only you knew that i'm falling,

falling in love with you, H.

2006-12-05T13:25:00.000+08:00

i love my blog. it's so "WOW!!!"

2006-11-24T17:25:00.000+08:00

so they're having a gathering today.

all those mothafakers.

UHHHH.

annoyance.

they're just a bunch of suck-ups in front of their ooooh BELOVED idol.

whatever asses.

i'm still gonna steal glances there later.

haha.

take pics as well.

WHOOPEE!

i didn't get the tix to the recording of "Wish Upon A Star" but what the hell lah.

i'm smiling now not thanks to them but cause i have great dreams yesterday.

ohhhh.

i just love it.

i'm posting it today, baybeh.

i have two dreams that takes place back to back!!!

first was about Saddad.

me, atiqah, nazlyna & fadh was in a particular canteen.

i was playing the guitar and singing along to a "jiwang" song.

we were just hanging out.

then, out of the blue, at the corner,

saddad & his friend came.

he was holding onto a guitar.

as i said in my previous post, the guy has to sing a song for/to me in order that i'm certain he's doing as much as he can to woo me. LOL.

so, he did.

with that, he sat down on the table, rested the guitar on his lap and played it.

his friend was just accompanying him.

he was singing along to this song which was so soothing and heartfelt.

throughout the song he was looking and glancing at me.

he makes me blush!

so then, all my gfs were laughing.

i was cair-ing.

after that, all became a blur and there i was, shopping in a mall.

there was this function held in a few hours more to go featuring hady.

i was ecstatic.

i went down to take a look but i was approached by this woman to help out with the souvenirs.

i gladly said yes, cause i'm a very nice person who helps out people in need.

mmmhhhmmmm.

then then then, somebody touched my shoulder and sat BESIDE me.

guess who?

the man himself, hady mirza.

he was talking to the whole group till he turned to me and said, "How ya doin'?"

i was like stuttering.

then he laughed and chatted like we knew each other well.

then he reached out his hand and ask, "Let's go to the hairdresser!"

i was like "wooo. cool!" p.s. being as idiotic as i can lah.

then he led me to a particular jean yip salon and he washed his hair & all.

while getting his hair done, he asks a woman in-charge there to do my hair as well.

i retaliated.

cause i'm no superstar babe.

he was saying convincingly to me. i was filled with assurance.

"Don't worry. Make you hair lagi lawar."

i smiled.

so yea, i did get my hair makeover.

i was stunning.

plus in that dream, i had long hair.

with curls at the end.

it's wavy & enriched.

ahhhhhh.

ooh. i want that!!!! (as in real life, i mean)

then she clipped my hair in a really weird manner.

but it was BEAUTIFUL.

seriously.

he looked at me with glistening eyes.

i gave him a smile. (that's what i practically always do when i met him. =P)

he uttered the word, "You're so stunning, Wida."

i blushed. and i was like WHAT? HE KNOWS MY NAME??(in my heart)

he took my hand and brought me to the performance stage.

he was going to perform.

then this woman stand beside me and said, "You're the most fortunate girl to have Hady's heart."

my reaction: open mouth.

he was singing on stage the song "Cry For Help".

he ended. "That's a song for the girl who makes me feel in the wrong whenever she left me. But today, she's here and i'm not gonna let that happen. i'm gonna TAKE CHARGE!"

everyone was laughing and clapping.

including me.

i was the MOST HAPPIEST woman on EARTH. it is. :)

after his 3 performances, he went down the stage and looked at me.

the woman beside whisked me away backstage.

and i straightaway hugged him.

don't ask me why!!

we took a walk.

as separate people but then, he silently moved his hand towards mine and hold it tightly.

i was shocked and returned the tight grip back.

he said, "it's been a long time since i met & saw you. now, i won't let it slip away."

he moved his hand up to my shoulders and i cuddled him.

i hold his belly.

mmmhhhmmm. *squishy*

it was a very warm feeling.

it looks like so REAL.

FEELS real.

then, all seems magical.

he looked down at me with his eyes that shows "i'm in love."

suddenly, BOOM.

both of us was on the floor.

he was unconscious.

and i saw hearts flying around.

his heart went into this gurl.

this gurl's heart went into the guy beside's her.

my heart to his.

but not one comes to me.

i was sad.

he was conscious back and went towards the gurl that his heart went to.

so, i was there speechless.

later did i know that i was just dreaming.

and Hady didn't really love me.

maybe it was a spell for me to feel like how it is to be with Hady.

and my hope now is, i do want to be with him and experience this whole incident.

i love you, Muhd. Mirzahady Bin Amir.

2006-11-22T12:30:00.000+08:00

i tell you i can't

but you don't seem to care

i tell you i won't

it's like i'm not even there

i can't wait forever

i won't wait forever

baby, it's now or never

tell me you love me or set me FREE.

------------------------------------------------

you think she's got

so much sophistication

i think she's just

in need of medication

why'd you pick

her instead of me

when she's in so much

need of therapy?

what's she got that i don't have?

what's she give you that i can't?

how did she become your girl instead of ME?

------------------------------------------------

i don't want flowers

red, yellow or blue

and i don't want diamonds

i know other girls do

and i don't want money

i've seen what money can do

all i want is you

2006-11-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

my baby (no. 1)'s fav. song and he'll sing it to his gurl in order to serenade her. haha.

Stevie Wonder - Lately

Lately, i have had the strangest feeling
With no vivid reason here to find
Yet the thought of losing you's been hanging
'round my mind

Far more frequently you're wearing perfume
With you say no special place to go
But when i ask will you be coming back soon
You don't know, never know

Well, i'm a man of many wishes
Hope my premonition misses
But what i really feel my eyes won't let me hide
'cause they always start to cry
'cause this time could mean goodbye

Lately i've been staring in the mirror
Very slowly picking me apart
Trying to tell myself i have no reason
With your heart

Just the other night while you were sleeping
I vaguely heard you whisper someone's name
But when i ask you of the thoughts your keeping
You just say nothing's changed

Well, i'm a man of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
But what i really feel my eyes won't let me hide
'cause they always start to cry
'cause this time could mean goodbye, goodbye

Oh, i'm a man of many wishes
I hope my premonition misses
But what i really feel my eyes won't let me hide
'cause they always start to cry
'cause this time could mean goodbye

my baby (no. 2)'s fav. song. juz his fav. song.

Travis - Driftwood
Everything is open

Nothing is set in stone

Rivers turn to oceans

Oceans tide you home

Home is where the heart is

But your heart had to roam

Drifting over bridges

Never to return

Watching bridges burn

Found on:

The Man Who

You're driftwood floating underwater

Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces

Just driftwood, hollow and of no use

Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you

Nobody is an island

Everyone had to go

Pillars turn to butter

Butterflying low

Low is where your heart is

But your heart has to grow

Drifting under bridges

Never with the flow

And you really didn't think it would happen

But it really is the end of the line

So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time

Everywhere there's trouble

Nowhere's safe to go

Pushes turn to shovels

Shovelling the snow

Frozen you have chosen

The path you wish to go

Drifting now forever

And forever more

Until you reach your shore

You're driftwood floating underwater

Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces

Just driftwood, hollow and of no use

Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you

And you really didn't think it would happen

But it really is the end of the line

So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood

But you've been drifting for a long, long time

You've been drifting, for a long, long

Drifting for a long, long time

weird; not weird.

2006-11-17T15:10:00.000+08:00

lotsa weird things have been happening to me.
well, not to me lah.
the people around me.
hahaha.

like ~

Hajjar:
- eating hersheys' chocolates together with the paper tag?
- washing the beans?

couples from ITE:
- playing pepsi cola in the bus.
- solving sudoku from the TODAY newspaper. ( p.s. the guy even scolded the gurl for not solving correctly. so cute right?)

guys:
- talking about how handsome they look like.
- discussing what kind of shoes fits the most with their outfit.
- wearing RED. striking RED shoes with baju kurung.

old people:
- having curly hair.
- wearing clothes that SO DO NOT FIT them. (act young, lah)

friends:
- that only turned to you when needed help.
- that talk to you when they have no one.
- who want to rule the friendship.
- who talks behind your back!!!
- who choses popularity than TRUE friends.

all these experience makes me a better person.
to look out for weird stuffs that's happening to me.
and not to experience that myself.

SHOUT OUT!!!

to all the PERTH go-ers.
HAVE FUN.
MISS YOU GUYS.
we should go out during the hols and SHOP SHOP!!!

to my 3 favourite buddies.

QAH.
i'll always know that i have you to guard my back when i fall.
i'll always know that you're the friend that i can always count to.
and that YOU'D BE THE FIRST ONE TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND APPROVE HIM.
and also YOU'D BE THE FIRST ONE TO BE INVITED TO MY WEDDING. (8 years to go...)
NAZ.
it's GREAT having you around once again.
we have the same kinda picturization. (my hot dawg, S*****)
you're the friend that i can talk to about anything.
all you need to do is nod your head!!!
haha.
SYAZ.
for a fun, crazy & laughing time.
just, don't be lame, okay?
muchos loves to you with your LOVE LIFE. (A****)

thanks for the GREAT time yesterday, babes!!

ouh yea.
COVENANT ROCKS to the core.
cause i was hallucinating someone else when Steven Strait is acting.
i found my Steven Strait look-alike!!! (S*****)
Naz & Qah agreed hor. =)).

but... the story line is kinda crappy.

if you're currently boy depressed.
or that you wanna drool & hyperventilate when seeing cute guys,
this is the movie for you cause it's FULLY PACKED with HOTSTUFFS.
hahahaha.

toodles oodles lotsa cuddles!!!

2006-11-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

hady is love. he is. =)).

how can anyone resist this?

2006-11-11T17:15:00.000+08:00

all the nice shoes!!!
well, it's been a long time since i blogged.
actually right, it's not THAT long.

finally i've sent all my lovelies the gambar raya.
such an exhausting task, okay since they took loads of pictures using my cam.
some of them have like (part 1) & (part 2)
menjadi-jadi pulak they take pics using my cam.
better make sure they repay me back with nice goodies.
teehee. =)).

i'm gonna do what i've promised in the past posts.
my criteria for the PERFECT guy.
in my dreams, that is.

my dream guy MUST:-
1) be taller than me.
2) have broad shoulders.
3) be physically fit.
4) have good personality.
5) have great sense of humour.
6) not need to posses melodious voice when singing to me.
7) have deep voice.
8) know when it's serious time & fun time.
9) be responsible.
10) be caring.
11) be courteous.
12) NOT BE terlalu MANJA cause i despise this people.
13) not be jealous easily.
14) not be possesive.
15) always know when to make me smile.
16) be able to buy for me STUFF TOYS and a FULL set of food not share share cause i tak main all that.
17) NOT BE always LATE.
18) be very talented at something, do not need to be highly-educated.
19) be interested in sports & music.
20) be creative & come up with lots of ideas to thrill me.
21) entertaining, so we wouldn't get bored.
22) have eyes that makes me melt eveytime i look in their eyes.
23) have a sweet smile.
24) have good-speaking malay. not those bersepah malay.
25) have strong grip so that when i fall, he'll catch me. haha.
26) NOT BE a SMOKER.
27) be brave to do anything.
28) be able to order me the stuffs i want such as a full set of Mac Donalds meal because i'm scared.
29) hug me & console me when i'm sad.

last but not least. . .

30) MY DREAM GUY MUST BE THE GUY I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH EVERYDAY AND WILL NEVER STOP LOVING HIM.

p.s. i think i've found HIMs.
haha. i've got two choices.

HIM:-

and HIM:-
only time will tell.
some hari raya snipshots:-

each hand tells a story.

the salomas of the 2006 year. haha.

the left side of the bus.

right side of the bus.

forget Naffy!!!

and yours truly. =)).

2006-11-06T17:38:00.000+08:00

i juz realise that sometimes out perspection of something is different as it was to come across.
like i was towards hadi(note: i'll be using this name).
i thought he was really cold towards me and he hates me or something.
but he wasn't.
it was all the other way round.
who am i to be responsible for this?
i didn't know what to react upon seeing the video.

the whole scenario was juz upside down.
he was mild & sweet towards me.
i juz couldn't see that.
and guess what?
he even said "thank you" TWICE.
you should see then you judge.
currently sending to Fadho.
i hope she could see how the situation was.
he was shy to ask my name too.
ish. wida.

Fadh say HE WAS SAD.

she say HOW COULD i do such a thing.

i didn't know okay.

it was so unsuspected.

i hope he'll forgive & forget.

i hope.

but then, i said HE HATES ME out loud.
i bet he heard it lah.
WHY?

should i go to his house for raya?
i hope i have the courage to go.
i don't want to be SHY.
juz like he is towards me.
then nothing will work out kalau gitu.
insya'allah i'll kuatkan semangat.

next time i meet him, i'll be brave to share my heart to him.
cross fingers.
ilu hadi.

lalalaalalaaa

next post: criteria for my perfect guy. i promise. not another hadi crap.

2006-11-05T10:55:00.000+08:00

so WOW.

guess what? he was walking towards me when i called him lah.

i got it all on my cam's vid.

that's why it is kinda blurry.

actually, he was singing to the left audience.

but then he switched to the right, where we were.

i was the first one to wave at him and signalled him to come over and he did!

i was kinda shocked.

he then turned to shake hands with small kids.

smll kids: his number 1 weakness.

haha.

anyways, there's the good & bad abt this roadshow.

i spent another 3 bucks on another manja mag.

haha.

juz to get upclose with him.

now i'm regretting it lah.

cause he didn't write or even ASK for my name.

yea, right Raihan. he is SO shy.

i was kinda pissed & hurt.

everyone was happy after meeting him.

with lotsa squealing but me, another bad rememberance of this experience.

i've overcome lotsa failures whenever i met him.

but whatever lah eh.

he's a star & sometimes, he just could not see to who he is doing bad things to.

even though it is to the same people everytime.

but i'm happy with his first reaction upon seeing me.

raihan was behind the cam.

so the most probability he was coming to me.

YAY!!!

anyway, thanks my lovely raihan for accompanying me.

we met lotsa stars didn't we? YIPPEE.

From Baihakki to Kumar to Ismail to Shan Wee.

there were regret moments. but you know what? i enjoy myself.

even though you're slow & cute. lotsa loves.

next post: criteria for my perfect guy. toodles.

2006-11-01T16:55:00.000+08:00

my current squeeze.: -

Christian Bautista.

He's a SINGER.

YAY.

i know, i know. all my squeezes are SINGERS, unfortunately.

and and and... guess what?

he's a PHILIPPINO. (i knew deep down inside that Philippine guys are smokin'. haha. fate brought me to HIM.)

haahahaha. (pssst. sorry i'm full of myself.)

p.s. expect me to be crazy & talk more about him this upcoming few days.

YIPPEE!!

and YES. he could be found at my friendster profile!!!

2006-10-23T20:00:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MY BROTHER!

p.s. i hope i'll not regret posting this up one day. =))

2006-10-23T18:21:00.000+08:00

alriiight.
raya's coming and results are so over and done with.
well, first thing foremost is that i didn't even score well in my exams.
i failed two subjects.
go figure.

i'm so ready for raya tmr except that i do NOT have a jalan raya beg.
well, everything was so LAST MINUTE lah.
i know.
furthermore,
my dad didn't even allow me to go to CP with my bro to buy the beg.
MEANIE.
TWEENIE. well, that wasn't necessary.
blearghhh!

now i'm currently suffering from dehydration due to the excessive dance.
and boy, did i ever look weird & awkward with the dances & costume.
especially the make-up!
and, i do not like to be called a malay-malay.
even though Ghazali is a malay-malay.

i'm seriously saddened by the fact that i couldn't go to the HYPE UP concert tmr.
cause of the fact that i told H_D_ i'm going.
darn.
i shouldn't make false promises.
remind me next time.
yes, i also could not accept the fact that he's dating somone else.
but you know what?
if he's happy, i'm happy for him as well.
cause he's always be my teddy bear.
haha. cute kan?

i met R. over the weekend.
he changed a lot, you know.
he has become more confident, charismatic & build.
well, not exactly like the peha of a chicken.
teehe. if you know whom i'm referring to.
he brought an album of him & his fiance.

don't show me such a reaction people.
hey, like as if i care.
he's happy, i should be happy for him too.
but i can't.
when i saw him, all the memories returns.
the rides that we always take.
the late night calls.
the soft toys he gave.

yea, he's like a gentleman.
all sweet and loving.
who will not fall for a guy like him?
only that he wasn't in love with me in the first place.

he told me to open his teddy bear.
i didn't know what he meant by that till his friend told me to unsew the teddy bear and look inside.
i did that and i found a letter.
a letter where he confesses all that he bottled up.
a letter where he said that he was unsure of US.
i didn't know it.
with it, he gave me a pair of earrings.
a letter R & W.

but it didn't last, you see.
he fell for a Brunei-an gurl.
yea, she's pretty & sweet.
perfect for him.

it was all awkward to held a conversation with him.
especially when he offered a ride home.
it's the first time i declined it.
he suspected there's something wrong.
he juz can't see the feelings i have for him.

so, yea.
i'm done with relationships but that doesn't mean i can't go skimming for guys.
hahaha.
actually, that's not what life is about.
it's more than juz that.
i will try to enjoy it while it lasts.

i love everyone who made my life a pleasant one.
i really really really love you guys.

2006-09-30T22:25:00.000+08:00

exams are coming up.
i mean it's happening RIGHT NOW.

i'm not feeling really well today.
my head's giddy and there are times i felt i want to vomit.
haha.
why did my parents even have the thought of me being pregnant?
haha.
juz kidding, i was thinking that myself.
my parents trust me 100% and i'll not break their trust.

fasting months are passing by really fast.
or at least i think.
i don't count the days that passed unlike the previous years.
i'm gonna swallow 2 panadol pills and zone out, baybeh.

teehee.
that line juz reminds me of Zoe Tay.
what's my secret? i swallow.
teehee.

p.s. i'm missing my idol fever.
there's no more blog post to keep the fans and H _ D _ close!
i'd be taking that as the last time we're ever meeting.
if fate does ever play a part, i'd be gladly welcoming HIM with open arms.
i shall not have competitors.
cause he's already MINE.

2006-08-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

merinduimu

setiap degupanmu seperti lagu merdu yang bermain di hatiku

setiap kekatamu bagaikan air manis yang tidak terpahit

setiap senyumanmu tidak dapat boleh diganti

ku hanya dapat merinduimu

aku bagaikan kapal yang berlayar berjauhan dari hatimu

aku bagaikan batu yang tidak boleh dilembutkan

aku bagaikan seorang wanita biasa

kau hanya dapat merinduiku

apa-apa sahaja yang kami lalui

hanya asam garam kehidupan

terdapat banyak cabaran

yang sedia menanti

hanya kau yang dapat menanganinya

hanya kau yang dapat menyelesaikannya

hanya kau yang dapat merubahkan

segalanya...

adakah kau merinduiku?

adakah aku merinduimu?

soalan hati ini yang terus bermain di jiwaku.

aku tak dapat menjawabnya

hanya kamu...

kamu...

-kekasihku.

*** ewwww. so EMO-nye. [p.s.] this is not meant for anyone. it's juz a pastime.

2006-08-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU, H.

"I hope you had the time of your life" -yes, i did.

** this was the most HAPPIEST day of my life. -u made it HAPPEN.

*** "WOOHOO! CHILLI SAUCE." "YEA!" -i'll remember this moment, FOREVER.

2006-08-15T19:28:00.000+08:00

woohooohooo.

i'm giving a SHOUT OUT to my CAs all finished!
yehahaha.

i've got back my Bio CA.
and... i'm HAPPY that i passed.
i was like SCARED that i'm gonna fail but i DIDN'T.
yahooohooo.

but my amaths CA is screwed like till DEATH.
haha.
my FUNCTIONS is like UGH.
BLEARGH.

anyways, thursday, i'm gonna rock the HOUSE.
at mediacorp. YEEHA!
i can't wait/
aahhhhhh.
and he'll look at me like FOREVER i hope.
hahaha.
during commercials and all.
YAY.

anyways, i juz feel like posting this.
"genggam bara api biar sampai jadi arang."

yeaaaa.

2006-08-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

ahh.

okay. i can't stand it no longer.

the thing is, i don't believe that both of them are in the bottom 3.

iiish.

annoying viewers who doesn't appreciate talented people like J _ N & H _ D _!

i frigging HATE them okay? like diverge all my focus on the BIO test to this worrying thingy. i don't believe i'm even telling this to all of you. it was TOO HEARTBREAKING to see them in the TIGHT situation they have to endure. AHHH.

i hope you're fine, H _ D _, my dahhling. i was paranoid after the whole thing passes.

i told myself that i'm ready to see u leave, to see your goodbye video clip, to see you saying thanks to ur fans and all. that's a desperado moment. i was shocked. scared for u. but u came out clean. it was TOO good to be TRUE. but i LOVE YOU.

yea. yea. does not make any sense at all. haha.

anyways, SYIKK & QSHAA RAWKS lah.

i mean it, seriously cause they're like so effing NICE to me, can?

accompany me to the roadshow today. ahh. those baby mittens & socks RAWKS.

haha.

maybe that's the WHOLE reason why H _ D _ tenunged at me for a while before huluring me his hand to handshake it. maybe he thinks i'm like a PSYCHOpath or sumthing because it's BABY stuffs. haha. but it still ROCKS right? woohoo.

yea. and the cameraman was like stucked to me 24/7 for THE WHOLE damn DAY. i was like frigging pissed cause i wasn't suppose to be there. i was suppose to be at my GEOG project. ahh. i'm sorry if u guys think i'm HOT today or sumthing, but i'm not gonna say anything to the CAMERA. i felt like i was being chased after paparazzis.

yea.

H _ D _ tenunged me, like as if he saw me before! he remembered lahh. his SMILE. ahhh. cair. and and and he hulur his hand directly after that with his silver marker to shake mine. he HULURKAN tau. not i ask unlike at PP and all. it was like a soft and smooth handshake. i dunno how to describe it. so cair ahh. the tenungan that's like so LONG maybe cause of the MITTENS. BABY mittens as u can see.

WHY BABY mittens, if u're asking me? cause i juz jump in last minute thanks to syikk & qshaa's credit, ya know. SO NICE. syikk belanja me COKE lagi. ahh. love u guys.

let's be groupies. i love love love hanging out with u guys. byk karenah but FUN. ehh. the banner making contest. WHEEEEE. i WANT to join u guys, kayy? don't forget meee!

anyways, we make friends with noodle's sister.

haha. syikk exchanged numbers with her to get tix. that's like good thinking right? haha. we took pictures with her and all. she's NICE. NISA's her name.

p.s. she said H _ D _'s NICE. me: (in my heart) melting! of course, kan?

ouh yea. i love love love J _ N even more.

but not till the extent where i'd leave H _ D _ behind and forgot about him.

haha. cause he's so NICE. i was given the task to give the baby mittens to Jon as well. so yea, he was 2nd in line. he was looking at me like he knows me. HE RECOGNISED ME! i gave him and the crew was like asking WITH A CAMERA, "wad u got there?". he was like "umm. i dunno. finger puppets maybe?" he doesn't know what it was. anyways his first reaction was, "SO CUTE!" then i juz SMILED. yeeha. nice right? yea. so he clutched my right hand with his left! ahh. it was a TIGHT grip okay? hahaha.

so yea. after that, we went to the crowd. then we decided to go around to the back to meet the idols going back to the bus. not that we'd chase them. and there goes the CAMERA again shoving into our faces. AHHH. annoying. so we covered our faces with the poster. i got close-up pics OF H _ D _ and J _ N .!! haha jealous? so yea. anyways, one fan took pic WITH J _ N! UNFAIRNESS! but after that, i was there to witness everything. i was like shouting J _ N _ T _ A _! he turned and saw me. he SMILED at me like the smile that he KENAL me u know. he was looking at me like he wants to let me take pics WITH HIM. or hug him for that matter. he was like smiling wih those eyes saying, "come here, lah". but then THAT STUPID SECURITY GUARD was around him cause he was the LAST to leave. haha. so he HAD to go but he was like whispering the word "sorry" to ME and he SHOUTs to ME, "SEE YOU NEXT TIME." "BYE!" with a sorry and sad face.

i was APALLED! he remembered me and was so effing NICE to me can? "SEE YOU NEXT TIME?" waaaah. he wants so see me NEXT TIME. iiiiish.

P _ U _ was also nice to me. even though i think he should be eliminated lah. all the popularity people. GET OUT alright? haha. but anyways, he's nice. he layan my merepekness okay? i was like telling the idols that the gifts was from the three of us and he was like uhuhuhuh. u know his laughter? the funny one? yea. anyways, i dunno why but i salute him u know. he was betulkanning his cap then he saw and salute me back too and say, "i believe in you," wad was THAT all about lah? memalukan and "i believe in you"? wad does that mean? i'm not even in NS lah. haha. he's so LAME lah. juz like he layan me at TM. i was like breathing deeply. "mhhhh. pheeeew." to calm myself down. and he thught i was like sakit or sumthing. so he said, "are u okay?" then i gave him thumbs up. then he was like "wooah. dun scare me leh." i juz smiled and walk off. he so LAME lah.

J _ A _ K _ M is always the same. and the others are all okay-okay lah. only three idols WOW-ed me. haha. i LOVE. LOVE okay.

J _ N & H _ D _, i LOVE you guys.

so effing nice.

p.p.s. my english is like KARAT for this post cause i'm too ecstatic to type in proper english. yea. LIT CA and MATHS CA coming. AHH. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

p.p.p.s. i LOVE u guys, syikk & qshaaa. so FUN. FUN. muz win banner-making contest kayy? and yea. stop the HAKIM craze. haha. but FUN jugak eh.

2006-08-01T19:16:00.000+08:00

i can't stand this.
i can't stand the negativity of this group of crowd who extremely HATE _ A _ Y.
i mean, he's someone in a journey to become the next-big-thing and who they think they are to juz come and slam it on this idols faces.
like, come on lah.
they're striving so hard to do a good performance for the public and all u could juz say are words of encouragement but by a "harsher" way, if there is such a situation.
to think of it, do this bunch of darn dumbos could sing very well?

nope. don't think so.
so why's the negativity?
why do u always judge people by their fans?
who cares if the gurls vote for him because he's good?
cause in my opinion, he's not THAT good-looking.
he juz has the charms and the appeal.
i mean, u can't blame him because he was blessed with ALL that.
u muz thank GOD for having people like him.

and with those kind of words, will definitely affect them.
they're chasing after their dreams, working hard while you're at home saying some "bullshit" things about them.
can't they juz be a lil considerate?

ouh anyways,
i was juz referring to those dumb ass pissyfying comments post on BABY's blog.
if u dun like him, keep it to yourself.
and what's this about comparing him with taufik?
it's not even till there lah.
did anyone said he's going to be like taufik?
people muz make an identity for themselves and BABY is sure working hard.
but wadeva to u guys who think he's juz a "pretty" face.
PLEASE LAH.

by the way,
totally screwed up my NAPFA test.
all failures i have to endure.
BOOO.
- p.s. i still pass chem and geog though. =))

*** spread the love u guys, not HATRED, u FREAK-Os.

2006-07-23T18:15:00.000+08:00

ouh wells, yesterday juz went shopping.
and busted like 80 bucks.

i bought lotsa girlish tees.
i promised my mum and myself that i'm gonna start dressing like a gurl.
like ladylike kind of shirts.
but yesterday when i went shopping, i was wearing berms, my NY cap, converse t-shirt and army belt.
yes. ladylike much?
nuh-uh.
my mum was like pestering me to change but HELLO?
i can't.
i hate changing after i've worn the clothes.

so anyways, when we went shopping, i was like, "AHHHH! I WANT THAT ONE!"
my mum was like, "NO! YOU CAN'T!"
it really is tiresome, you know.

but in the end i bought this half jacket at $30.
this sleeveless top at 3 for $15.
this low-cut top with the tube at $18.
earrings at $2.
last but not least, this buttons top at $5.
yea. i'm like in a shopaholic mood.
so nobody can stop me.
nyehahaha.

my parents were like reluctant.
but u know wad, this is the first time that I REALLY GO CRAZY.
too many nice tops that i wanna get my hands on.
AHHH.
the temptations, the nafsu sedang membuak-buak.

ouh yea, i've gotta get back to my geog.
AHHHH.
haven't even start revising much.

= DEAD.

2006-07-17T20:30:00.000+08:00

four days ago, i rocked with _ A _ D _ !

two days ago, i hugged _ A _ D _ !

two days more, i'll cheer on _ A _ D _ !

it's all about you now in my life, _ A _ D _ !

** Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
I need you by my side.
Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat slow, I can't let you go.
I want you in my life.

2006-07-16T14:25:00.000+08:00

aiyayaya.

i can't tell u how much i love yesterdat and last thursday!!

it was the most memorable experience in MY life.

i will not FORGET it.

it was THE moment.

i'm so HAPPY he did not forget me!

i got tix to specataculars thanks to SYAZ!

i do not wanna disclose who is it to keep unwanted guests away from my bloggeh. =))

i love YOU _ A _ Y!!

2006-07-11T20:48:00.000+08:00

confessions of a lost soul.

why is everyone not made the same?
this questions always kept repeating in my mind.
i never knew that one day, i'll reflect myself and found the truths hidden beneath all of these layers of doubts.

i always say that i'm "beautiful".
never caring about what my friends think or what are their opinions.
i never realise that wad i'm doing is making a big change in my life.

i in turn became an egoistic monster who only think highly of herself.
i couldn't control it.
never taming it.
it starts getting bigger.

and now i realise
that i'm never that "beautiful".
all this time i was juz lying to myself.
being ego, afraid of the truth.
which is me, another word to define "pathetic ugly loser".

i should've known that when my dad says that i'm "beautiful" does not come naturally but because i am his only gurl.
i always believe it.

then i reflect,
my past years in primary school, i wasn't pretty.
with high socks, tight belts, ugly hairdo and nerdy prefect.
no wonder HE accepted me.
maybe HE sympathizes me.
not HIS love for me.
i was too young to know to define that "love".

then i came to sec sch.
i wasn't important to HIM anymore.
HE left, with a scar in my heart.
HE changed, no longer the same.
HE smokes, a failure and never listens.
but HE still owns a gurl.

me. done.

i met lotsa guys along the way.
fall in love.
then move on.

it never dawn to me that i wasn't wad anyone is looking for.
not the typical person.

everytime i walked pass a cute guy, i'll always think,
"is he looking at me?"
"is he gonna ask my number?"
"is he gonna make the first move?"
none of the above.

no one did THAT.
i was juz a piece of JUNK.
LOSER.

till i met mr R.
he changed my life.
my views towards men.
my stoned-heart that never allows to be hurt again.

but it was too good till it lasts.
he left. but will be back after 6 months.
he called.
11 days ago.
promised that he'll update me on his well-beings.

now i know why long-distance never really worked out.
mr R.'s friend chatted with me online one week ago.
he was at Brunei too.
he told me mr R. has been busy these days.
with SOMEONE.
i knew. it was all over.
i wasn't worth it.
over.

he explained to me on the phone saying, "i fell in love with a Brunei gurl"
my world came crashing down.
i was in denial.
i never thought he'd do that.
after all, he's juz mr R.
i knew i wasn't worth it for him.
i was only his comfort zone.

yes. i'm sad.
heartbroken.
being left again.

like a JUNK.
LOSER.

i moved on.
living my happiest today.
but it wasn't enough.

all these questions was being drawn back to me.

"am i worthy of a guy?"
"will i found the one?"
"will any guy love me for who i am?"
"am i pretty?"
"am i ugly till u do not even wish to look at my face?"

i answered them easily.
i do not need all these.

i know that people love me the way i am.
i'm not going to change that.
i am who i wanna be.
it's me who have the GREATEST bunch of friends in the whole world.
it's me who have the most LOVING family in the whole wide world.
it's me who i really wanna be with for the rest of my life.

i do not need to be beautiful to have the confidence.
cause all that matters is the inside of me.
the one whom everyone loves and knows.

that's juz enough.

i'll find the PERFECT guy one day.
but not anytime soon.
cause my mum says beauty will grow.
yessssa.
i can't wait to see the product.
THEN START CHOOSING!!! =))

head over heels for my loving morientes who did not play for spain for world cup.

and he's a good friend of rauuul.

i juz looove morientes.

i'll post more of my fav. soccer players here soon. u'll drool. u'll see.

- disclaimer : confessions not done by me. =))

i'm a happy happy gurl.

2006-07-07T17:48:00.000+08:00

alriiiight.

did i tell u guys how much i enjoy going shopping with my mum?
well, I REALLY LOVE IT.
i mean, like seriously.

i went to TKC after school to buy kerongsang for my cousin's wedding on sunday (majlis), pernikahan on saturday.
so i bought 3 beutiful kerongsang.
silver.
nice. nice. i loike.

so ya, then we went to impian hawa, this boutique that i always love to go. got lotsa baju melayu that i want to buy.
i went a little crazy but i manage to tone it down.
HAHA.

i wanted this baju & seluar suit.
but i realise it's too expensive.
then my mum volunteered to buy it for Hari Raya.
I KNOW.
that's like AGES.
but still, i always get what i WANT.

anyways, we bought bunga rampai next.
not that important in my life, as you know it.

so yea, we were all so hungry.
stomachs all growling and all that, we decided to go to compass point to eat Macs since opposite the TKC's Macs juz closed down.

so yea, i ate Mc Spicy and i decided to buy hair clips to look really CHIO on saturday and sunday.
HAHA.
EGO SIA. PERASAN ALSO.
i bought this colourful bunch of clips.
lovin' it.

then i went to my mum outside the Montip shop where i bought my hair clips.
i saw THE CONVERSE shop.
cause i wanted to buy this tote bag from converse stating SPAIN's name on it.
but i was too late, it was limited edition and sold out.

so i saw this gym bag, cost $59.90
i mean like wooaaah.
it even costs like $5 more than my adidas bag.
and guess what....
I BOUGHT IT.
i'm torn between the green yellow green bag and white red blue bag
my mum said that both are nice.
since i have one green mickey mouse bag, i decided to buy a blue one now.
cause i like don't have any blue bag.
with red stripes, same colour as my specs. =)).
so i bought it.

wanna know who paid for it?
I DID!
cause remember my birthday last last month on 23rd of may?
i was given money by my aunt, brother and mother.
i belanja my family with my bro's money.
so i was left with some money.
i didn't spent it on anything cause i wasn't interested in buying anything yet till i saw that gym bag.
so yea, i paid $59.90 for it.

i think it's berbaloi.
worth it.
so yea. i'm gonna go to my aunt's house and sleepover there.
while showing off my NEW GYM BAG.
it is frrom some country but i don't know what.

nyehahaha.

waiiit.
before that, i have to practice sashaying first with it to look really purrrfect and natural with it.

okie then.
maybe on monday i'll use it.
who knows? ;)

adios amigos.
andre andre.

2006-06-29T16:54:00.000+08:00

MICHELLE BRANCH - Till I Get Over You

Everytime I feel alone

I can blame it on you

And I do - oh

You got me like a loaded gun

Golden sun, and a sky so blue

We both know

That we won't let it

And we both want

You left me, no choice

You just bring me down

So I'm counting the tears

Till I get over you

Sometimes I watch the world get by

I wonder what it's like

To wake up every single day

Smile on your face

You never try

We both know

We can't change it

But we both know

We'll just have to face it

You just bring me down

So I'm counting the tears

Till I get over you

Only if I could give you

Would I want to let off

From this soap opera, baby

We both know

We won't let

But we both know

You left me - no choice

You just bring me down

So I'm counting the tears

Till I get over you

2006-06-26T22:45:00.000+08:00

okayy...

whoever is the disclaimer, i've erased you from my mind.
please, to those who are uninvited guests, don't EVER try to act anonymous and typed wadeva that u want to alright?

anyways, i got a world cup craze!

kesian holland keluar.
- van persie. (discovered him before world cup)

but i hope SPAIN stay.
- Fernando Torres (discovered him before world cup)

- Raúl González Blanco

- Cesc Fabergas

- Luis Garcia

- Jose Antonio Reyes (discovered him before world cup)

and Morientes (not shown) who no longer plays in world cup.

ooh yes. Brazil too.
- Kaka

Not forgetting:
-Micheal Ballack

but the team that i predict will win world cup : Argentina & Spain (since Holland tersingkir) .

p.s. thanks for the panda. you-know-who-you-are.

2006-06-22T22:45:00.000+08:00

alright.

today, i hanged out with nafisah to do our hw. a lot of catching up since i have not even started on some.
ouh yes, hopeless me.
u can say that again.

anyways, it was worth it.
i came late, FOR THE FIRST TIME.
we decided to meet up at tanah merah MRT station to change to changi airport.
yes, that's where we're heading to.

naf wanna bring me to popeye which she says is very cool and calm place.
but then we ended up lost and settled down at Macs.
there's like a lot of people and trust me, it is not study-zone.

but we still stayed there since naf is hungry.
so the first few minutes were kinda alright.
then there's these two chinese guy who sat beside us and start chatting.
like some makcik.
maknenek or something lah.
we're very iritated but put up with it.

saw this guy who looks malay and dunno wad else.
mixed lah.
i thought he looks kinda HOT.
but in the end, he turned out to be some hopeless person.
cause he got a gf.
so cliche.
jock, gfs.
ooh yes.
so he hunchback his gf in front of A LOT of people.
like as if i care okay.
then i said to myself, worthless.
move on.

yea right.

so then, we managed to finish a maths and bio.
yes. WOOH.
both worksheets fully answered.
*told u so*

then we decided to head back home cause my mom want's me to reach home early.
i juz went out with atiqah and naz yesterday to watch she's the man.
so yupp.

walked pass policeman.
YUCKS.
not my type.

then i realised, i'm at the departure hall.
mr R. will be here on the 28th of June at 8.00am, his trip to brunei for exchange thing for 6 months. p.s. he got to naik pangkat. that's why he wanna go.
UGH.
so, i was crying inside.
really. really.

i called him up and ask to meet him.
he was shocked for the short notice but he agreed to meet me.
he took leave and meet me at white sands.
yes. i know, far away.
so i did the most unthinkable thing of my life.
i shall not mention here.
i cried.
in FRONT of him.
and he was like confronting me.
it was a nice feeling.
secured. having him around.

he said, "rizal pergi tak lama la. pejam kelip. pejam kelip dah enam bulan."
i was furious. i took it seriously he was playing games with me.
he continued, "eh. janganlah buat rizal cam gini. macam buat salah je. rizal janji rizal akan call ida kalau rizal free. especially bila rizal rindu kat ida."
i smiled.
"rizal takkan lupakan ida. janji. tapi ida jangan lupakan rizal tau."
with this, he pulled my hand and take me to his car and we went to TM's Toys "r" Us where he bought me a BIG teddy bear.
he juz said, "u know what that means."
i smack him on the head.
i love that feeling.
haha.

BY THE WAY, he's juz a friend, okay.
a CLOSE friend. that's all.

i mean it.
this information is for yours only.if u tell anyone, i'll kick ur ass.
HAHA.
familiar?
wooh.

okielah. toodles~

p.s. aku baru realise yang aku telah jatuh cinta. yes. i am. tapi i keep telling myself that he's juz a friend. dilemma. forever.

2006-06-21T22:10:00.000+08:00

OMG.
okay.
i'm like frigging nuts over Channing Tatum.
he's the main guy role for She's The Man.
one movie that you should NOT miss.
totally did not waste ur money on this movie.

cause it has
- HOT GUYS
- COMEDIC
- full of FAIRYTALE.

yupp yupp.

and well, Channing Tatum totally caught my eye.
DUKE, the character that he plays in the movie.
he sure has a nice BODY, very flexible, cute and ATHELETIC!!
lovin' every moment of it.

i blogged this post so as to GRAB him first before anyone else.
NYEHAHAHA.

especially THAT someone.

totally had a GREAT time with my two besties today at Orchard Cineleisure watching She's The Man. one movie u should NOT MISS!!

love the outing you guys.
looking forward to the next one, STEP UP!!!

AHHH!!
Channing Tatum IS DARN HOT IN THIS MOVIE.
saw the trailer.
love it.
okay, my vocabulary is all about lovin'/love it.
u've gotta bear with it.
I'm GOING NUTS over this hottie man.

why?
CAUSE HE DANCES IN THIS MOVIE!
DAMN HOT!
SERIOUS!
BELIEVE ME.

but too bad, u're too LATE.
he's MINE.

muhahahaha.

2006-06-03T10:46:00.000+08:00

amazing news have picked up recently.

- Mr. R. is going for an exchange programme to naik pangkat at Brunei. For 6 months. 6 FREAKING MONTHS? his night classes? he'll continue when he come back. BUT FOR 6 FREAKING MONTHS??? WHY? I mean like all of this happen so fast that i can't even think of it. How about me? I'm suppose to be happy for him as a FRIEND. But i can't. Oops, what are the odds?

- MY HUSBAND died. Well, for all of u who is wondering who the hell died, it is Scott Summers a.k.a. Cyclops. I mean, seriously, how could he have DIED? He's like one of the main characters, dude. Anywhoos, wolvy is HOT. No matter what he do, he's HOT lah. =)). AND WHAT DOES JEAN GREY DO TO DESERVE TWO HOTTIES? TWO HOTTIES!! Scott & Logan. She can kill Scott summore. *toot*

- ouh yea. "u smell pretty. no. hunk pretty pretty." lovin' it. i mean every moment when he sing or even make a fool of himself. wooh. =)). Paul. Paul. Paul. HE'S IN THE TOP 12!! woots!!

so yea. that's about it.
ladeeda.
toodles~

2006-05-23T19:26:00.000+08:00

right.

this is dedicated to those who have given me presents today.

* marissa & aisha for the cute YELLOW star, the beautiful yet meaningful heart card and TOBLERONE.
- at least now my pink star has a friend. =))

* atiqah b. for the wonderful, touching card that i almost wanna cry when i read it with the 'walk the line' vcd & also the merci chocolate. =))
- the card is the MOST GREATEST PRESENT that i've ever received.i can't deny that. =))

* nazlyna & steph yap for the wonderful, sophisticated belt with the body scrub which is supposedly to be decoration and chocolate.
- so suhweet of you. i'm gonna keep the belt till i get married and i'm gonna wear it. SERIOUS. =))

* syaz, farah & yanti for the not-bad cutted card, the flower necklace and the beautiful brown earrings that I LOVE!!
- damn. those earrings make me wanna eat them. it looks DELICIOUS. =))

* fadhilah, atiqah k., hajjar & nafisah for OH MY GAWD HUMONGOUS (is that how u spell it?) YELLOW spongebob squarepants. i swear marissa is jealous.
- it is so squishy and cuddly. LOVE it! =))

* nadia for the cushy cushion which says 'love you'. yes. i still do love you my darling.
- the paper bag is BEAUTIFUL. with the small card. similar pics on the front page. sweet of you. =))

* pei hsin & chesed for the lovely scary screw you voodoo doll & purplish rubber band.
- i will keep it nicely. and poke it when i want to do it. haha. =))

* sonia for the 3 wonderful flavours of TOBLERONE.
- i have NEVER eaten toblerone before. so be very honoured that you shared with me sonia. =))

* my dad, brother, mother, auntie for the wondeful gifts that i do not wish to mention cause it's too precious.
- LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!! =))

* mr R. for the pearl jewelry set that i wanted.
- i'll treasure it like i'll treasure you. i promise. =))

* ameera for the dangling earrings.
- even though it is cheapskate like u said, i still love it. it's the thought that counts. =))

* MIMI, my lovely cousin for her billabong pencil case & keychain.
- have a nice trip to negeri sembilan! enjoy yourself there. and thanks gurl for remembering my birthday too early. i got something for you tmr. =))

notice all the smiles that i typed every sentence.
it shows my happiness & appreciation to those who had given me birthday gifts.
it is truly a HAPPY HAPPY DAY!!

** p.s. last year theme was giraffes. this year is CHOCOLATES - TOBLERONE & YELLOW stuffs. haha. but i still LOVE IT YOU GUYS!!

- awaiting gifts from caebabug & co., kar mun & GERMAINE.
hehe.

yes. demanding me. =))

love the little outing i had with fadhilah after school today, the catching up with syaz & atiqah b. and not forgetting the phenomena lost of my adidas wallet. i was on the verge of crying. thanks farah, baz and FADHILAH.

love you guys.

this is definitely gonna be a good year!!!

- gonna cut my TWEETY BIRD cake now. yes. TWEETY BIRD. i ordered it okay. i LOVE TWEETY BIRD. FACE IT!!!

2006-05-22T20:00:00.000+08:00

SUCKED

BIG

ARSE-

HOLE!

.PERIOD.

2006-05-20T14:56:00.000+08:00

3 more days to HOT 15. whee~

2006-05-19T18:42:00.000+08:00

why?

Why'd you do that to me?

Haven't you hurt me enough to see me cry?

You're the one that i turn to,

the one that i care about,

the one that i've fallen in love with

yes, you, it's you-u-u-u.

Though you've never said

those three words to me,

i'd still take you seriously.

Of all the dozens guy that came

in my life, you're the one,

you're the one i wanna be with.

So don't, don't, don't ever leave me.

Cause when you leave me,

i'll lose the other half of me

and it'll leave a big cut in my heart

or maybe,

i'll just give up on love

and never shall i be in love again.

(whispers) never ever again.

[pssst] i'm truly, madly, deeply in LOVE right now with the guy of my dreams. but now, it's a reality.

2006-05-09T20:43:00.000+08:00

hmm.
i guess this pass few days have been a wreck.
even without CAs.
I've been going home late for the past few days and i tell u, i HATE it so damn bloody much.
thinking of changing my blogskin though.
the window is kind of small and difficult to post big pictures.

as u know, my beloved grandfather passed away on friday at 1.20am that's why i didn't go to school on that day.
very awkward and weird i should say cause i never pon school in my whole life before.
i always attend every single day.
the mc-less face.

when i received the call from my mum at 1.25am, i couldn't sleep no longer.
my mum went home while my uncles take my grandpa's body from the mortuary.
my mum reached home at about 2.15am and she told me to get ready to go to my grandpa's house and help out all the stuff that is needed.
so i bathe, which in this case, a very VERY long time.
so when we left home, it is about 4.35am.
we reached my grandpa's home about 5.15am.
i tell u, i tried to sleep but amazingly, i can't.
maybe it is because my grandpa juz died is the reason.

so i wear tudong very halphhazardly(umm? correct?).
and uglily. (WHY???)
it was an ugly sight.
yea.
so i help buy flowers to tabur on top of his grave later on.
i saw posters of Workers' Party and i love 'em.
at ang mo kio.
LoL.

so i help arrange the chairs and stuff until it is 8am.
that's when lotsa people come.
and my grandpa's body came.
so blah blah blah.
i cried even though i promised not to.
how can i be so cold when someone i love passed away?
damn. i hate myself for even crying now.
this make me wants to become a doctor so i can help out those elderly to detect their illnesses before it's too late like my grandpa.
i will. i can. i have better score well in bio.

so yea, we went to pusara abadi to bury him.
but before that, all of us pray for him at masjid al-firdaus.
and i tell you, my sadnesses evaporate cause the masjid is near CDA (civil defence academy)
and u know my lovable feelings towards civil defence people.
i tell u, it is in my genes.
i got 5 HOT civil defence officers' name.
shall not type here.
scared he will find his name here and be shocked.

why do i look far when i have someone near me?
someone with the letter R.
sure nafisah know.
he's all that i want in a guy.
but i'm not THAT interested in him.
he has been my sms companion and so forth.
he's such a gentleman.
but for all i know, maybe he's not sincere.
but, i shall give it a go.
known him for 1 1/2 weeks.
not rushing things though.
yea. that's abt it.

but still, the chai chee guy rocks my world.
ouh. whatever.

anyway, i love my grandpa a lot.
a lot.
much much much more than my grandma.
psychopath. (oops)

more interesting upcoming event.
- NE Learning Journey
- Kenduri for my arwah atuk (7th day)
- Outing with Mimi and bik mas to watch MI3
- Gema Temasek
- Danse Fe'line Sur Cordes

woo.
hope this week is gonna get better!

** p.s. someone wants tuition from me. 'Can Can' are u sure? But can't confirm though. maybe my a maths will suck nxt time round.

2006-05-04T21:05:00.000+08:00

i have come to a conclusion that when i see him again,
i will say all the feelings that is bottled up inside me.

ehem.
this is how it goes.

hey.
i've met u a lot of times before.
and i wanna say straight to your face that i like you.
not a minor one.
it is a major one.
i dun wanna know and care about your reaction towards my confessions.
u can juz keep it in ur heart.
u may laugh it out and spread the news like wildfire but all i wanna say is that i'm glad i've told u all this.
if not i will regret every moment that i did not see you and when i saw you, i did not do anything about it.
i'm fed-up with guys not making the first move.
then, i will.

take it or leave it.

then.. i walk off.
how does that sound?
tag my board for reply and comments.

** impt.
the man that changed my life.
the man that meant almost everything to me.
the man that took care of me and accompany me when i'm in need.
my grandfather.

he's going to leave the world soon.
he's in a serious condition.
hell be gone.

forever.

then what'd i do?
juz walk away and pretend everything's okay.
the tears that are shed by me is covered from everyone.
the happy-smiling face is juz a get-up to blind my unhappiness.

yet, life has to move one.
and i will, of course.
little by little.
GONE.

i love u, atuk.

2006-04-30T08:58:00.000+08:00

what'd i do

to get you so mad?

what'd i say

that's got you feeling so bad?

i never meant it

i swear it's not true

the only guy i care about

has always been you.

oh don't go away mad

come on over, let me

make you feel glad.

2006-04-09T14:27:00.000+08:00

have u ever felt a certain excitement in you whenever a certain someone is online and all u want to do is to say a simple "HI" to him?
and then there'll be something in u that will restrain u from doing so.
u'll feel: -
afraid that he'll think u are a psycho.
afraid that he'll think badly and lowly of u.
afraid that he won't like u.

and then when u found out he has a certain infatuation and crush on someone,
all ur life came crumbling down.
u think ur life is over.
but then u tried and tried again to believe that there'll be good news someday.
but reflecting the years ago, u remembered that u have been crushed and hurt by all the waiting and sufferings.
there's no believe in waiting for THAT certain someone.
it feels like as if u wanna give up on LOVE.
give up on him.

now, as i see him online in my MSN, i will want to talk to him.
my heart beats fast whenever i open my conversation box.
wanting to say "hey ya, wads up?"
it is yet had to happen.

i'm afraid.
really afraid.

and when u have picked up the courage to talk to him then,
he's offline.

it repeats this way everyday.
and u'll experienced it over and over again.

will there be an ending to this fairytale?
will there be happiness after all this happen?
or will she still be the way she is, not wanting to be in love and stay afraid, always?

only time will tell.
but for now, she's sure that she's in LOVE.
real LOVE.

cause: -

*Love takes time to grow. Infatuation explodes in an instant. You spring into infatuation, but you usually grow into love. [ -i was a friend, a friend to him. which soon grew into LOVE.]

*Love grows out of knowing all that you can about the other person - good or bad. Infatuation lives in a make-believe world where the other person is perfect. Infatuation is happy to know very little about someone so it can leave the rest to imagination. But true love longs to know all about someone - the good, the bad, and the ugly. [ -i know his side, the good and the bad. he loves to bitch around and have the "perfect" boobs but he never appreciate a perfect LOVE.]

*True love focuses on the other person. Infatuation is self-centered. A person in love thinks less about how he or she's going to look and feel in the relationship, and more about what he or she can do to make the other person look and feel great. [ -i never love someone because of their looks or education. i love someone because of who they are. he may not be good-looking and have a dream to become someone who will not gain lotsa money from that occupation in real life, i still support him and that i take it, as true LOVE.]

*An infatuated individual may be "in love" with two or more people at the same time. True love is focused only on one person. [ -i may have lotsa infatuations all the time. but when i have none, it will always be him that i look and search for.]

*Genuine love creates a sense of security and feelings of trust. A person who's infatuated often feels jealous because they don't trust the other person. [ -i don't get jealous when he spent time with his "girlfriends" and bitch around. instead, i love every moment they do that because they will come up with the most hilarious things u can think about.]

*Someone who's infatuated loses his or her ambition and interests in everyday things and daydreams of unrealistic ideals that won't ever really happen. A person in love works hard to better themselves for the person's benefit. [ -he will be entering a prestigious school coming soon and all i can do is work hard and achieve it like him. i did not waste my time dreaming about times we spent together and planning how it will look like.]

*A couple in love openly faces problems and tries to solve them. Infatuated people sweep problems under the rug and try to pretend they don't exist. [ -i wanted to tell him my problems about his conversation with me. all of them were about him and *ehem*. i tried. but i can't let him down and let him know that i am not his TRUE friend.]

*Love understands that giving someone space is a good thing. Infatuation imagines love to be intense closeness 24/7. [ -i wanted to give him space and time but he misunderstood it for me being a psychopath.]

*Physical attraction is a part of true love, but only plays a minor role. It's the central focus of infatuation. [ -i never care about how he look like. i care about him just being him.]

*A couple in love usually expresses physical affection later in a relationship. In infatuation, affection is expressed earlier, sometimes in the very beginning. [ -as i know him more and more, i just realise he does look good. together with his personality that shines, that is.]

*Love tends to endure. Infatuation may change suddenly and unpredictably. [ -i endure every moment we talk and chat. but it does not lasts.]

*A couple in love isn't indifferent to the timing of their wedding, but they don't feel an irresistible drive toward it. Infatuated folks can't wait to tie the knot. [ -i never thought of this woth him. all i ever thought was my wedding day. but never did i thought i wanna marry him.]

p.s. this is the confessions of a muddled heart.

it may be me or may not even have to be me.
` i shall let u be the judge. =))

Have you ever been low
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know
Were you left out in the cold
'Cause what you did was low

No, I don't need your number
There's nothing left to say
Except I never thought it'd hurt this much to be safe

2006-04-07T16:24:00.000+08:00

i juz went out with my "boyfriends" juz now after school.
eat lunch at Mac Donalds.
is it?
or Mc Donald?
ouh.
wadeva.
anyway,
one ate ice-cream and the other ate MY fries.
ehehe.
i would've sworn that if i had eaten my burger like way faster and showed an ugly sight while doing that, i could've stopped u from eating them.
HAHA.

we sat at the "privacy" place.
nobody can see the "kinky" things that we do.
the moments of laughter will always remain there.
and yea.
i'm kinda regret not taking that free FANtastic beef thingy.
ugh.
should have juz kebas like one of my "boyfriends" say.
HAHA!

when i ate, i had like a practice eating of burger in front of them.
but i think if they grade me, i would still fail.
i juz can't eat burgers slowly and small bite.
i will open my mouth like hippopotamus lah.
HEHE.

and yea, one of my "boyfriends" imagined me in a room on fire.
but i would not accept a non-HOT scdf guy.
i would rather be choosy and die instead of saving my life while i still can?
hmm.
u are SO WRONG.

anyway, while eating, i saw one of my "boyfriends' " friend, a tall figure and "mynah" and also "his" cousin.
if my "boyfriends" are reading this, i bet they'll laugh because i paraphrase very funnily.

after eating, they followed me to buy batteries for my discman and old chang kee's curry puffs for my brother and mother but when i reached home, she told me she had eaten it already. wadda lah.
my hardwork and my "boyfriends" as well.
TSK.

anyway, malay was fun. and legacy too.

malay
i got to work with two different girls and they're THAT amazing u know.
mumtaz and baz.
they're like so fun to work with.
it's a change of situation but i will always prefer to my two "bestman".
HAHA.
these days, i was so happy to spent a lot of time with one of my "boyfriends" cause she would always be busy with her schedule to meet her fans.
HAHA.

for legacy was really really enjoyable.
we had to discuss about playing a game on tuesday.
and then hajjar was like suggesting hide and seek, thrust fall (is it how u spell?) which i got the idea, jump off a building and see who die first wins. so FUN RIGHT? RIGHT?
'atiqah and me were like crapping and talking merepek for the whole period.
laughing to out jokes and stuff.
while fadhilah was fidgeting with my hands.
saying that it is smooth. (ooh la la, i know that)
and we were also talking about crap stuff that does not actually involve the game.
marissa was still with her ice and water which we agreed on with a water gun.
WOOHOO.
it is gonna be a wet tuesday.
and farah with her dun dirty my bag, my place and many more else.
farah. farah. farah.

i love this group.
9 people in one group could be THAT fun eh.
i'm looking forward to work together with them.

but i still can't forget the incident whereby i was the only one that suffers.
at least i still have my two "boyfriends" to be with .

YAY-ness.

ilu. ilu. ilu.

2006-03-31T22:40:00.000+08:00

i love qah.
she helps me.
she cares about me.
she understands me.
she's there for me always.
she listens to my blabbering.
i love qah.

i love naz.
she cares about me.
she relaxes me down.
she's there for me, always.
she listens to my rambling (for 45 mins)
she's cute, unpredictable and absolutely SWEET.
i love naz.

bottomline: i love both of them. they've been by my side always. they'll always be there for me. i had fun memories spent with both of you today. i appreciate it a LOT. ESPECIALLY u, qah. the experience you and i had with the SCDF guys that are OH SO NOT CUTE at the KFC. the experience where u were shocked when the lift door opened at the industrial building. the experience where both of us listened to britney spears' song at Marine Parade Library. the experience when u are always thirsty and the solution is, listen to me talk instead. YEEHA!!

them. *heaaarts*

- sorry Chesed for being fussy and quite rude just now.
i admit it but i was very stressed just now that i nearly broke out in tears.
i hope u understand. ilu.

- thanks nafisah for calling Mrs Tan.
ur help was greatly appreciated.

i'll end off with three personal quotes.

"i thought i had a great bunch of friends. but it turns out there are only 1/3 that actually cared."

"friends are always there by your side. especially when they need you. not those who left u when u are in the middle of a crisis."

"there's always this "thing" called members. but now, i don't even think they deserved to be called that because as members, we share responsibility. but mine didn't."

** these quotes were not meant to hurt anyone in one way or the other. this is where i poured my heart out and let my thoughts be heard. i'm sure this can be "repaired" and works towards something better in life. =))

2006-03-04T11:38:00.000+08:00

today was a psychotic day.
but it was fun though. =))
the hindustan today at vasantham central at 4pm was very enjoyable.
cause there's ARJUN RAMPAL & SUNEIL SHETTY!
two of my most favourite actors of bollywood.
they're HOT.
and in this story, ARJUN DAMN HOT!
seriously.

fine.
the psychotic day is not abt the hindustan story.
oh btw, qah cut her hair!!
i wanna see whether she's HOT!!
on monday. ehehehe.

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
My personality reflects me
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

woohoo.
words of wisdom. =))

anyway, after watching the hindustan movie,
at 7pm, i asked my mum to go out to esplanade.
as it is a saturday night, there should be a gig.
we shuld be one HOT family banging our heads during the gig.
haha.

my mum refused.
claiming that she was full after eating pizza.
too lazy to go out.
right mama.
RIGHT.

so he asked my brother to go out with me instead.
at first i don't want, but after thinking about it,
okay also mah.
so we got ready.
pray, then leave.

we took bus 83.
stopped at sengkang interchange.
then took MRT to Dhoby Ghaut.
cause i wanna go PS.
so we walked around PS for around 1 and 1/2 hours.
ouh yeah, i met mumtaz and jasmine tan.
they juz went home from red cross i guess.
then, my brother says my breath stinks.
so we went down to cold storage and bought sweets.
THANKS A LOT.

then we talk and talk and be crazy at the mall.
u guys SHOULD know how exactly i behave.

anyway, after that, we went outside PS towards orchard.
suddenly i feel like okay, i wanna go home late.
for ONCE.
so we walked in front of the istana.
my brother says that behind those trees, there are monkeys.
i was lyk.
are u serious? nonsensical. if there is monkey, they will jump about right.
then my brother claimed that the police are taking care of them.
wadeva. did he mean that monkeys are more important than the president?
LAME. LAME abang.

so we walked and walked.
bought drinks from 7 eleven.
big gulp.
we wanted to insert ice.
so my brother kept pressing the ice button.
ice came tumbling down.
and then he move the cup away.
the ice was like still coming down.
and it drops to the floor, where this guy was mopping.
HAHAHA.
he gave us 'THAT' look.
we juz paid for the big gulp and mashed potatos and rushed outside.
*smirks*

then we continue on walking.
saw lotsa mats.
who SMOKES.
got some of them cute but too bad, they SMOKE.
they have to sacrifice their smoking for me, juz like what my dad did to my mum. =))
so sweet and romantic.

anways, when we passed the mats, my bro act as if he was talking on the phone to avoid eye contact with the mats.
ouh.
his WONDERFUL technique.
and me?
well, i juz have to look around(up and down, left and right) to avoid contact as well.
so funny. and while i was doing that, i was talking to my brother.
so i guess they will think we are nuts.
then we passed a group of makcik.
so it's my turn to pretend to talk on the phone instead, kim.
after that we decided to go home.
it was 10+.

so we took the train.
and stopped at sengkang station instead of punggol cause my brother wants to walk home.
so yea.
it was 10.25pm.
we walked and walked.
since i'm such a clever HOT girl, i brought along camera.
an we took lotsa pics.
WACKO pics mind u.
i was pretending to feed the bushes(mat afro).
my attempts of taking pictures while i was jumping when we were walking through the overheadbridge.
the overheadbridge was very very empty.
no one was present.
so i act as though i was a beggar.(hehe. african beggar; the poem that i did for sec 2 CA Lit)
and my brother lied down on the floor.
i was jumping endlessly for a good photo.
but my energy has gone to waste.
cause ther's no nice pictures developed.
hmmm.

then while we were walking, we were acting like maniacs till we reach my block.
then i was like, "EH? IS THIS OUR BLOCK?" *scratching my head*
my bro was like, "YES LAH BODOH."
so FINE.
we reached home, i blogged and i slept straightaway. =))

2006-03-03T17:35:00.000+08:00

waaalah.

biology is totally FUN fun FUN today.
not because i get to take pictures of myself.
i get to take the experiment that i was working on about enzyme which is like totally COOL!
there's one test tube when i added iodine, it turns purple!
woohoo!!
PURPLE. get it?
if only i can bring it home.
zan, u spoilt my art at the sink. :(
nolah.
juz kidding. :)

after school ends, i waited for qah outside her class.
she was busily packing for the indian festival.
and i teased her about sumthing she will experience on monday. *winks*
which is oh-so-unpleasant.

ouh yea.
she needs to buy her lunch.
i volunteered to accompany her cause it is FRIDAY.
and on FRIDAY there'll be lotsa guys which is oh-so-unpleasant.
we went to KFC in the first place.
but looking at the long queue and lotsa people in it, we decided to go macs which is way way emptier compared to kfc.
we got a seat which is close to a dustbin.
DUSTBIN.
lucky for me, the bin is not so noisy like the one i experienced at compass point.

qah was like asking me, should she take the risk of buying the food(take-away) and rush home?
i was like i dunno.
she did the right choice by eating at macs cause a few minutes later, all the malay guys radak out of the mosque.
she's so lucky.
can u imagine qah being squashed by the mats & pakciks leaving the mosque?
she'll be this super super small kid being radak around.
u make me use the work radak, qah.
sheeshness.

i ate mc spicy ordered by qah with ice lemon tea cause i never drink gassy drinks. =))
such a good good girl.
she ate the same meal only that she never change the drink.
there shall be bubbles in ur nose.
ehehehe.
we talked a lot.
especially me.
about my cuzzins and brother and my macs experiences which i am ashamed of.
but surprisingly, i finished my mc spicy with fries faster than qah.
and yes qah, i sedar i look hodoh/horrible when i eat burger.
i am not fit to have a boyfriend cause he will be malu and disgusted of me.
woohoo.
then i shall be virgin forever.
umm.
that's a promise i dun think i can keep though.
L0L.

i had to call my mum and informed her i'm eating at macs.
she was like, "APER? NAK MAKAN LUAR?"
she was shouting on the phone.
SHOUTING!
my goodness.
but i told her abt i accompanying qah and all, she agreed with one condition.
my mother, her with her kirimness.
she kirim cheddar cheese, pizza base, mozzarella(haha) cheese.
dun mistake my (haha). i dunno how to spell.
pardon me.

then when i was eating, i saw this HOT eurasian guy.
he's from JUNYUAN SEC SCH.
the school where HE came from.
qah was like counting and saying that she could have acutally met HIM 4 years ago.
but too bad qah.
he was unpopular at that time.
UNKNOWN and shall never be KNOWN.
HAHAHAHA.

so i went to NTUC with qah and bought the cheese.
which was from denmark(danish)
qah was like saying.
OMG u bought danish product.
u are not suppose to be buying.
not my fault.
i wanna eat pizza, my dear.
then we went out of the NTUC.
a few steps out of NTUC, i remembered that i need to buy the base.
so i went in back and avoid the previous cashier cause it'll be embarassing.

after that we went toilet to do u-know-what.
haha
that is so not necessary for my post.

then we went on our separate ways.
i queued up for bus 3 which came on THE spot.
so i quickly naik the bus.
i wanted to take the bus but this mat suddenly cut in front of me.
so ungentleman.
till i realise he was rushing cause his gf was in front of me.
paiseh.

so here i am, back home.
safe and sound.
wanna eat sapsuka(haha) soon and then sleep cause i have tuition later and i need to concentrate and not sleep.
YEA.

oh wells.
juz went back to my past with this guy din.
we did not have anything going on.
seriously.
i got a crush on him.
but he got a crush on his best friend.
so triangle love.
but he didn't get it.
he didn't know i like him.
so the chapter is close cause there's this day that is the last straw.
he kept telling me abt his crush.
all the conversation was about him.
so then, i blocked him.
till this day.
-_-"
i know. so EMO wida.
i shuld not have done it.
but i juz realise that if i kept being by his side, i will hurt more.
so i shuld juz get away from it.
he's online now. but i'm not taking the risk.
and wadeva happen, czarina gotta keep her spirit high.

i juz read his blog.
he wants to become an architect.
wonderful.
juz great.
no future.
i know i'm so narrow-minded but what to do, singapore is not very big for architectures.
his another option is teaching but his passion lies on architecture.
so juz wish him all the best loh.
he can enter NUS.
that is like woaaah.
i dunno wad will happen to me lah.
saddiq and din enter NUS.
how about me?
NO future?
LoL.

my passion lies in singing.
one day without singing is impossible.
but i've never seriously share my "unique" voice with anyone before.
i always sing nastily and out of tune in the open.
but at home, i sang more seriously and my mom and dad says i got a good voice.
u shuld be the judge.
but why till now i never share my "unique" voice with anyone yet?
one reason is,
i'm phobia of audiences.
i scared that i'll forget my lines.
hmmm.
good reason? i hope so.

too bad malay channel, suria does not have "kampus anugerah"
if they have it, i will sure to join and u guys must support me kay?
vote for me. =))
*wadeva wida (rolls eyes)

klarh.
gtg.
wanna eat then sleep.

lalalalala (".)(:":)(.")

2006-03-02T18:12:00.000+08:00

the gurl who once made my life miserable and iritated has now changed my mind about her.
she's a gurl who needs time and another chance to adjust herself to her friend's situation.
i juz had the feeling now, she's alright, she's a great friend, now, better than one of my closest friends.
i do not wish to name her.
i do not wish to point out who she is.
it seems that one week, we've drifted apart.
it seems like we had nothing to talk about.
we dun used to have long and funny conversations anymore.
we dun used to be the way that we used to be like before.

well, nuthing particular EXCITING or WADEVA happen today.
i came early today and saw ghazali (gasps) and razif (gasps)
ouh wadeva.
both of them are lyk so last year.
but that'll not stop me from changing my mind about them. =))

and this message and also a WARNING.
for WHO THE HELL go and erase my duty roster that i wrote on the board, please dun even think about doing it again.
i will result to violence.
and i MEAN it!

i dun wanna post a long post today.
i have a few words before signing off.

- chesed; u are a totally great friend that i treasure. i do! u've been by my side after comp. club. and u dun mind waiting for me. i shall treasure u cause that kind of friend is difficult to find. ilu.
- atiqah; thanks for spending ur time with me. during recess, after school. u are a great friend for 3 years in a row. u put up with my oh-so-nonsense crushes and "omg, i'm going to die" remarks. i have to admit u are patient and i love ya. [p.s. sabar itu adalah separuh dari iman. =))]
- ameera; for one bus ride that is memorable to me and exciting and happy! it has been a long time i hung out with u. ur sarcastic remarks makes u the REAL u. hmm. and if u need someone to eat Long John Silver with, i'm FREE and french fries too. *winks*
- pei hsin & nafisah; thanks for the pics that u guys are gonna take today. pH, u are one NOISY woman. nafi, u are GREAT. u are my companion in 3/2. thanks for listening to my crushes and not get iritated by them. YAYness!
- naz; for being out of my life for a few days. thanks so much naz. even though we do not meet each other, at least we have something to talk and laugh about. i miss the times when u said, "i MALU", and ur laughter that fills or i shuld say, contaminated my brain. i still love u. =))

* thanks to all of this people who makes my day, today! =))

2006-02-27T16:40:00.000+08:00

alohaaa...
alohaaa...
and
alohaaa...

i'm not gonna stop alohaaa-ing unless someone pinch me right now except GERMAINE! ahhaahah.
she DARE!
nah-ah-ah.
i dun think so. =))

chem spring test totally suck today.
like TOTALLY!
why?
cause i never study!
never NEVER never!
i lyk just skim through.
that never help at ALL.
i must know more DETAILS.
actually, serves me RIGHT!
ughhh.

for this term, i did not achieve my A's.
i don't have ANY A's!!
It is DARN IMPOSSIBLE.
ouh wadeva.

there's sumthing exciting and happy happy HAPPY later on.
sure chesed knows what it is.
i've told qah abt all the happenings in my life right now.
i totally love her cause she kept me company. =))
may our friendship lasts long long.

YAY.

even AFTER i graduate to MJC.
cause i loike MJC.
it is close to my house, blue uniform (like finally, not GREEN!)
and most of all,
it has FLOORBALL!
i so wanna join that CCA!
cause it is like so SO so COOL!
why?
i can carry around the stick which is so DARN cool (dun ask me why. dun give me THAT look!)can u imagine if i have the stick and if someone make me angry or tease me, i can happily juz SMACK her with my stick.
eheheheh.
it is a really BLESSED sports.
BLESSED for me.

eh.
i topped my class for Geograpy.
i got 19.5/25!!!!!
haha. (abt sumthing embarassing juz now when i collect my results)
FINE.
i shall not brag about it.
but come to think of it, i never top my class in anything before.
so wida, THIS IS AN ACHIEVEMENT.
i have the RIGHT to remain happy.
well not too happy, i MAY become GAY!
hahaha.
like the Brokeback Mountain.
WOOHOOO! (ehem. i haven't watch it yet lah)

Now, i must definitely plan for my future.
In other words, i must plan for my seeds of time (sumthing like that)
ugh.
me? shakespeare language?
so not fated!!
ahahahaha.
like "Aroint Thee!", "Get Thee Gone!" and "Skip Thee Hence!"
this sound so hillarious.
LoL.

i have tuition later on.
shucks.
juz to get better grades mah.
need to study hard hard.

After comp club, got something exciting.
did i mention it juz now?
I HOPE it will happen.
my HOT SCDF guy.
i hope chesed shall not be late today. =))
and we can meet BOTH!
YEEEEHA!

i miss Naz.
lyk. TOTALLY sia.
she never eat with us anymore.
NAZ!
I'm giving u warning!
u BETTER eat with us. =))
and we shall be a happy HAPPY trio for recess.
or five-o

ugh.
luckily half of this post have been recovered or i'll be crying my ASS off.
i'm too lazy to type the third verse for my song.
ladeeda.

wida outz!

2006-02-25T12:21:00.000+08:00

well. well. well.

two more weeks to go before school holidays.
i am like so looking forward to this BIG big BIG event.
like finally, all of the exams and tests will come to an end for a week.
A WEEK.
i doubt that WEEK will be a month for me.
that's what i hope.

okie.
i'm like really really stressed out.
not because of tests which is now decreasing. like THANK GOD.
about the class t-shirts.
am i like the only one who's TOTALLY responsible for the ordring and all?
i tried to give up.
but u know, this is like totally my responsible.
i have to go to that ulu-ulu place at paya lebar again.
i hope i don't need to go there anymore unless to collect the t-shirts.
i would appeal to anyone who's kind enough and caring enough to help me collect the t-shirts.
PLEASE.
yea.
as if any miracle would happen when i blog about this.
i will go to the shop this coming tuesday to settle it once and for all. =))
with nia nia(sonia). ilu. she's the only person who has helped me a lot.
thanks gf.

okies.
stop about the shirts already.
it is suppose to be THE weekend.
so i'm suppose to stop worrying and relax.
and study chemistry of course.
ugh.
i wonder at what age would i really really have WHITE hair.
i am soo looking forward to that BIG event.
like REAL.

now, let's change my topic.
it's been so many days i've suffered cause i didn't see the HOT MALAY CHINESE looking guy.
only on tuesday.
but too bad i have to suffer till thursday.
hmmm. hmmm. hmm. *doing the eye thingy*

ouh yea.
i've finally get over done with B.K.
he has his own rights to pick the girl of his dreams and for the rest of his lives.
if the girl he choses to be with is THAT girl.
i no longer have any objections.
even though i'm still angry about the age thing.
it's his happiness is all that i care about.
all the best to him for his future matches.
to all the girls who craze over hot celebs, it's time to move on.

believe me.
juz look around and u can see many else HOT guys all around.
i don't blame u for crushing on these celebs but u shuld also know that they CONTROL their love life and life.
if u think u could juz enter his life and change it in a blink, well gurls, think again.

to the people who have read my previous post abt HIM and HER, i shall delete it soon.
i don't wanna hurt anyone's feeling on my blog here. =))

okayy.
this the 2nd verse for my song
-
she's crying
she's lonely
she's dreaming
to have a better day than just to sit and sway
and cure her lonely heart away.

2006-02-20T15:27:00.000+08:00

VERY INSANE!You are extreme! you may even be the class clown.
However, you may want to tone it down a
little. Oh yeah, stop talking to your stuffed
animals they're not real...get a dog/cat!

For you, Eternal love awaits!
You're loyal, mostly happy and have good
friends. You would like to have kids and get
married, and you strongly believe in
"Mr. Right". Once you meet him, you
both now you belong together.

Your personality is joy. You are overall the best
out of these, in my opinion. Youre fun,
loving, optimistic, and never bored. Youre
always the life of the party and like to look
on the bright side. Youre an individual with
good taste. If you meet someone sour, youll
try to change them. You are brave and caring.
Strong and powerful. Boys secretly like you.
Theyll never admit to it, however

KAGOME

ooh la la

2006-02-20T15:02:00.000+08:00

ehh.

i'm like so confused as to blog or not.

cause i'm very VERY very lazy. mind u. =))

well, well, well,
i'm like very frustrated and annoyed that i can't meet the HOT MALAY CHINESE looking guy.
but tooooo bad cause i'm looking forward to the HOT SCDF guy.
eHEHEh.

i've created the 1st verse for my personal song.

this is how it goes.

-

staring at the windows
searching for answers
that she's been waiting for
but nothing comes out of it
only the sound of the gushing winds

ehem.
that's all.
stay tuned to this blog for the 2nd verse. =))

2006-02-19T12:42:00.000+08:00

do YOU want a PISS of my mind?

i doubt so.

2006-01-20T17:41:00.000+08:00

You are Musa.

Which Winx Club Character Are You?
brought to you by

2005-12-16T14:27:00.000+08:00

i'm CURSED!

Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!

okayy. in case u guyz are wondering WTH am i talking about, i'm gonna elaborate on it.

yesterday i went to Parkway Parade to look at coats & shirts. in other words.. SHOPPING! (mimicking white chicks. LoL.)

ouh yeah.
i used to go shopping at Top 20 when i lived in Serangoon cause itz lyk nearer.
but now, i've moved house. so dun usually go PP loh.
PP could also mean Punggol Plaza *heh*.

btw, i saw Ciko with his friend (a guy; of course!).
who later on went into Top 20 to join both of their girlfriends.
to tell u the TRUTH...
Ciko's gf is fuyohhhh. TERROR babe.
dyed hair. tight clothings. could be labelled as minah also.
but hmmmm... can't judge a book by its cover right?

i din't bother to take pics with him uh.
its better if i could come across B.K. instead of Ciko.
ugh.
yea.
now i know wad kind of guy Ciko is.
cute pun cute jugak luh. and yea.. he's SHORT too. hahaha.

we walked and walked.
and ate at banquet.
we met my cousin's family.
it turned out that they juz send off "prince" to Bangkok for his Rugby stuff.
awwww.
so saddd. *like REAL*
so that makes him not following us to Gunung Ledang tomorrow.
YIPPEEE!!

then we went down to some shoes shop.
and guess whom i saw???
ASHRIN SHARIFF.
yea yea. i know. no BIGGIE.
the OTHER time, i met RUHAIZAD.
with his gf.
hmmm.
made no such surprises for soccer player's taste for girls uh.
and he was wearing MY watch but different colour. RED. woohoo. PATRIOTIC.
now i met ASHRIN.
with his gf. pretty indeed.
she doesn't look malay-ish.
they were holding hands.
wahhhh. he dyed his hair btw. p.s. the colour looks orangey.

now u GET wad i mean by CURSED?

i can't meet THE ONE that i WANT to meet.
i dun have any choice can't i?
maybe they are giving me some hints.
that is not to be shocked if u see any soccer players with gfs especially B.K. cause all of 'em are lyk in a relationship.
NO surprises at ALL.
hmmm.

i think people are kind of scared of me yesterday in the bus cause i keep saying to myself "I AM CURSED!" again and again.

i guess that's all for my CURSED story.

and oh yea.
i'm sorry to say this but i'm kind of ADDICTED to Winx Club.
they're so AWESOME.
and i like one couple which kept me watching every episode.
i loike MUSA & RIVEN!!
YAY!

ouh yea. i lyk Teen Titans too.
Beast Boy & Cyborg are soo CUTE.
LoL.

and i'm gawd damn annoyed with Triple Nine.
they juz have to UPSET Kim by putting Mike & Sarah together.
Kim din't get eveything that she WANTS unlike Sarah.
UGH.
I HATE THAT SHOW.
but i'll keep watching it.
LoL.
YAY!!!

2005-10-10T18:15:00.000+08:00

Will Turner- Faithful, brave, and as sweet as can
be. He has always loved you and always will. He
is generally laid-back unless someone messes
with his loved ones. Will isn't the sharpest
tool in the trunk, and doesn't always think
things through, but his inner beauty makes up
for that. He'd die for you, so be careful not
to hurt him.

Which movie character is your true love?
brought to you by Quizilla

Average Poneytail
You're the type of person that has the tendency to
keep it real, you're funny, but you know when
to be serious if the time calls. You are laid
back, and you're intellectual, you'd be
surprised how many people look up to you!

2005-08-31T17:05:00.000+08:00

I'm currently listening to andai - GiGi..
So very the soothing uhh..
Make me remember of him singing..
Heh..
The contestant from anugerah lar..
That Azmir guy..
Whu is SINGLE!! AHHH!!!!
Whuttever..

RIGHT.. SERIOUS MATTER NOW...

wednesday - 31st August 2005 - teachers' day celebration

Today we celebrate teachers' day luhh..
That's why we had 1/2 day of school..
Well, ma mum has kindly helped me to fry the fries for the class party..
All the muslims can't eat what the other religions cook ryt,
we din't have enuff food..
So basically, they ate my fries..
YIPPIE!! =))
The choc cake not that nice..
Very fudgey.. But YUMMY!! heh..

After that we had the concert..
The host rawks sia!!
Lubna & Dash.. If i'm not wrong..
They very the happening..
First was the dance club [Jazz] - Very coordinated and nicely done *clap* *clap*
Then was the 2e5 item..
I'm quite disappointed though..
Cause the steps was change at the last minute, they aren't lyk sure what to do..
and they are not coordinated..
But their braveness to go up the stage is very the.. BRAVE!! *YAY*
Next was.. I can't quite remember..
The band.. Two left feets were okayy..
the singer need to be a bit more enthu..
But overall, the band plays nice music!!
except that azidah wasn't playing..
Haish..
then the dance club [Ballet] - very scarry and nicely done too.. *hoots*

After that, the concert kinda ended..
Speak the truth, last year's was much much enjoyable.. LoL..
I have promised ishqi to meet me at the fitness area so that we can go in together..
She turned out to be actually a TOTAL MINAH!!
Haiz.. Yeah.. But she's still the ishqi that i know for the past 8 years..
WOW.. That long..
We had to register ourselves if we want to go in..
So we went up to the hall, guess whu i saw???

AZMIL!!!!
With his totally outdone hair...
Totally mature and taller.. AHHHH!!!
I have to admit, he's HOT!! But too bad.. attached liaoz..
Asyraf grew taller too.. But not taller than me..
He's still as sweet as ever and CUTE!! heh..
I met cikgu humairiah and give my gift to her..
SHE HUGGED ME!!!
She's lyk a cuddly teddy bear..
LURVE HER LOADS!!!
We talked for lyk 10 minutes cause she needed to attend Contact Time..
Poor teahers..
Teachers' Day also got meeting..
Tsk Tsk..

Then we went down.. Decided to go home lar..
Finish everything wad..
So we went out of the school...
Met Laavanya whu wants to go zps..
It has been 2 years since i saw her!!
So we decided to follow her back in zps..
hahak..

The security guard was shocked i think cause we came in twice.. -_-"
Laavanya did not get to meet Mrs Kumar cause they have CT wad..
So we walked around the school and get chased by the discipline master, encik sinen..
cause we weren't allowed on level 5 & 6..
HAHAHA!!!
So went to the play area and we met ERWIN!!
GAWWWWD!!!
He changed a lot sia..
With his punkrock style and attitude.. *swoons*
He learns bass guitar..
Too bad not drums.. If not he can teach me..
We talked for lyk 1 and 1/2 hours till 4 o'clock, we decided to cabut lar..

Laavanya din't get to meet cause CT ends soo lyk LATE!!
so she gave it to mrs osman to give it to mrs kumar.. YAY..
Mission accomplished!!

Went home with ishqi and laavanya..
Hum, rohaidah & syaf din't come.. so much for saying that they're good friends..
Wadever marn.. lyk i CARE!!
Pipit, nasrudin, israq & zul din't come too..
LAZY BUMS!!!

Met Din outside the school..
But i kept a far distance away from him..
he came up to me jugak arh..
But ishqi was lyk scolding him and tell him to back off..
I SURRENDER!! Lurve ya ISHQI!!!

okie.. toodle-loo..

2005-08-18T16:51:00.000+08:00

if you care about me, why cant u juz show it instead of hiding it?

i'm sick of his brotherly love for me.
why can't he juz be himself?
why can't he see that i have some feelings for him?
why can't he understand teh REAL me?

The convo juz now with him is one of the crucial one cause i almost tell him the truth!

it starts like this

din: hey! u're back from school
me: yea.. why?
din: i'm still at school. doing some stuff.
me: wad stuff sia? until afternoon liddat..
din: got symphonic band thingy. gotta stay back a while.
me: heh.. kesiannye.
din: yarh. school sucks. sheesh.
me: LoL. I always know that. So how are u now?
din: stress. parents are like din blaja din blaja. iritating sak.
me: heh.. mine are also lyk that. parents are all kinda same. how's ur *ehem ehem* life.
din: so u've been waiting to ask me that question right? ummm... nad still doesn't get the idea that i lyk her.
me: dun u lyk like anyone else instead of her? u've been waiting for her lyk 5 months.
din: it doesn't matter. love conquers all what. there's sumthing that u wanna tell me. i can FEEL it.
me: yea RIGHT. nuthing.
din: SPILL it out!!!
me: ummm... i haven see nad b4. is she THAT pretty?
din: nope. looks doesn't mean anything to me.
me: then wad characteristics that ur perfect ghurl have?
din: why are u suddenly asking all this questions? i know the perfect ghurl when i meet HER.
me: i dun see any signs to meet my PERFECT guy..
din: u need signs?? LOL..
me: urgh. u're annoying me.
din: then dun chat with me.
me: who started the convo first?
din: i juz want to know how are you. thats all
me: is that all whats important to you??? whether i am fine? if i say i'm not fine?
din: why aren't u fine? u were okay a few minutes back.
me: wadever. stop being such a brother to me and be caring. chat to someone else.
din: i'm not being a brother. wad are u trying to say? why suddenly the angry part of you that i've never seen are coming out now?
me: dun bother to ask. i'm done chatting with you today.
din: OOI!! WAIT!! I still dun know what u mean.
me: BYE!

( i blocked din)

haiz..
he still doesn't know my feelings towards him.
itz a one-sided love.
life is not fair and NEVER will.

i dunno till when i'll unblock him.
if he has indeed sum feelings for me, he'll find a way out to contact me.
i'm done with the games of the heart.

THEY SUX!!!

** my first month anniversary with B.K. [ May we live happily EVER after till the day i DIE! ]

2005-08-14T09:25:00.000+08:00

alola loves lolliopop!!

YAY!!

Anyway, i juz wanna make a short blog here.

Yesterday, ma whole family decided to go to the national day at the marina bay thingy luhh..
But ma father parked at the WRONG place!!! LoL
Then we thught of walking but there's this stretch of river which was blocking our way and itz lyk a long journey. [frm Marina Square to Marina Bay]
That is SO WRONG!
So we get into our car, drove to Marina South where the exit was blocked!
Unlucky sia.. Then we thught of parking sumwhere near the next exit.
My mum found it so far away.
So she said she very the lazy to walk. Then my dad TERPAKSE [ WAS FORCED TO ] not go there larh.
So we din't go there finally.
Waste ma dad's oil.. Sorry papa..

Since i brought ma library book together with me to return, we went to takashimaya's library. It isn't THAT good u see.
I prefer compass point's library.
More choice of books.
So i borrowed all the crappy books..

Then we decided to walk2 outside.
We saw lotsa mats of course.
Some of them are CUTE i sincerely tell you.
But wad a waste!
They are smokers!!! unlike B.K. ma husband.
So u see, i'm PROUD of ma hubby...

Ma whole family sat in front of Far East Centre not Plaza.
To drink our favourite drink, SLURPEE!!
and prawn crackers bought from 7eleven store nearby.
So, yeah, we sat in front of the Far East Centre.
There's lyk lotsa passer-bys.
So me and ma mum were lyk critisicing and commenting on every person that walked pass us.
Lyk they wear open clothes luh, their jeans are torn-torn luhh and many more else.
I suddenly realise i LOVE observing people's personality or shuld i be more specific CLOTHINGS!!

So yea.
Ma mum sound whether we wanna go home.
Her feet are tired cause from morning she took care of ma grandpapa.
We walked back to the carpark.
Ma dad have to pay $3.15 cause hourly.
Sorry papa cause u need to pay $2 for the first parking and now, $3.15 = $5.15 =(( ..
And of course ur oil..
SORRY!! =((

And thanks to ma mum's lazyness, we din't get to see ma soulmate for ma vehicle section.
RHYNO!!!
If we went to that marina thingy, i culd have taken picture with ma SOULMATE for vehicle section.
Oh well, next time then!!

Taas~~

2005-08-09T11:56:00.000+08:00

Soccer : da BEAUTIFUL game

I've been playing soccer for as long as I can remember. During this time, I've been kicked in the face, slammed into a goal post, and run over from stem to sternum. So at various points in my soccer career, the question has arisen: "Why? Why do I play soccer and subject myself to all this?"
Although there is the possibility that severe head trauma is responsible for my passion for soccer, I tend to think that I love it because the game, which can sometimes be brutal, and can also be beautiful.

I love soccer's lack of emphasis on authority and regimentation. It's one of the only sports I know where individuals do more than follow predetermined plays and listen to the sage advice of others. The speed of soccer requires that players, rather than coaches, be able to assess and address situations as quickly as they arise on field.
In soccer, being humongous, amazingly tall, or super fast is meaningless if one is not smart. As an athletic person who has been gifted with the short (heighted, sighted, and legged) genes, I find this inspiring.

I find soccer beautiful because it is "messy." Instead of just being about getting somewhere faster, it's about taking a longer road to get to a better place. Soccer players don't just want to "win at any cost"; they also want to look good, have fun and do it all in a way that has never been done before.

Soccer mixes up the utilitarian business of winning with artistry, entertainment and pleasure. Such a mixture isn't efficient. It can't be graphed or charted--it will never add up. In the end, the game of soccer isn't about statistics--it's about the beauty of people and their passions.

2005-07-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

I, declare myself today, 19th July 2005, 12.00am that I am Mrs B.K.

My husband of two kids have cheated on me.

And he was caught in some car accident and died tragically.

Serves HIM right!

B.K. have declared his love for me today and thus, is marrying me.

My two kids have been given to my auntie who can't have kids for some reason [i'm thughtful] .

I lurve B.K. A LOT!!

I mean it!!

Zipped!!

2005-07-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

it was so sweet of him

it was so so sweet of him

it was so so so sweet of him

i felt like i'm the luckiest ghurl in the world when i'm with you.

but some things must kept to consideration

like we are so far away from each other

but i felt that u are juz close to me

why muz some endings be so -saddening-

i'll never believe in TRUE love ever again [bleargh] =((