SARANG HAE. SIWONNIE OPPA.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

ouh wells, yesterday juz went shopping.
and busted like 80 bucks.

i bought lotsa girlish tees.
i promised my mum and myself that i'm gonna start dressing like a gurl.
like ladylike kind of shirts.
but yesterday when i went shopping, i was wearing berms, my NY cap, converse t-shirt and army belt.
yes. ladylike much?
nuh-uh.
my mum was like pestering me to change but HELLO?
i can't.
i hate changing after i've worn the clothes.

so anyways, when we went shopping, i was like, "AHHHH! I WANT THAT ONE!"
my mum was like, "NO! YOU CAN'T!"
it really is tiresome, you know.

but in the end i bought this half jacket at $30.
this sleeveless top at 3 for $15.
this low-cut top with the tube at $18.
earrings at $2.
last but not least, this buttons top at $5.
yea. i'm like in a shopaholic mood.
so nobody can stop me.
nyehahaha.

my parents were like reluctant.
but u know wad, this is the first time that I REALLY GO CRAZY.
too many nice tops that i wanna get my hands on.
AHHH.
the temptations, the nafsu sedang membuak-buak.

ouh yea, i've gotta get back to my geog.
AHHHH.
haven't even start revising much.

= DEAD.

tic toc no it's the clock again at
6:15 PM

Monday, July 17, 2006

four days ago, i rocked with _ A _ D _ !

two days ago, i hugged _ A _ D _ !

two days more, i'll cheer on _ A _ D _ !

it's all about you now in my life, _ A _ D _ !

** Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
I need you by my side.
Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat slow, I can't let you go.
I want you in my life.

tic toc no it's the clock again at
8:30 PM

Sunday, July 16, 2006

aiyayaya.

i can't tell u how much i love yesterdat and last thursday!!

it was the most memorable experience in MY life.

i will not FORGET it.

it was THE moment.

i'm so HAPPY he did not forget me!

i got tix to specataculars thanks to SYAZ!

i do not wanna disclose who is it to keep unwanted guests away from my bloggeh. =))

i love YOU _ A _ Y!!

tic toc no it's the clock again at
2:25 PM

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

confessions of a lost soul.

why is everyone not made the same?
this questions always kept repeating in my mind.
i never knew that one day, i'll reflect myself and found the truths hidden beneath all of these layers of doubts.

i always say that i'm "beautiful".
never caring about what my friends think or what are their opinions.
i never realise that wad i'm doing is making a big change in my life.

i in turn became an egoistic monster who only think highly of herself.
i couldn't control it.
never taming it.
it starts getting bigger.

and now i realise
that i'm never that "beautiful".
all this time i was juz lying to myself.
being ego, afraid of the truth.
which is me, another word to define "pathetic ugly loser".

i should've known that when my dad says that i'm "beautiful" does not come naturally but because i am his only gurl.
i always believe it.

then i reflect,
my past years in primary school, i wasn't pretty.
with high socks, tight belts, ugly hairdo and nerdy prefect.
no wonder HE accepted me.
maybe HE sympathizes me.
not HIS love for me.
i was too young to know to define that "love".

then i came to sec sch.
i wasn't important to HIM anymore.
HE left, with a scar in my heart.
HE changed, no longer the same.
HE smokes, a failure and never listens.
but HE still owns a gurl.

me. done.

i met lotsa guys along the way.
fall in love.
then move on.

it never dawn to me that i wasn't wad anyone is looking for.
not the typical person.

everytime i walked pass a cute guy, i'll always think,
"is he looking at me?"
"is he gonna ask my number?"
"is he gonna make the first move?"
none of the above.

no one did THAT.
i was juz a piece of JUNK.
LOSER.

till i met mr R.
he changed my life.
my views towards men.
my stoned-heart that never allows to be hurt again.

but it was too good till it lasts.
he left. but will be back after 6 months.
he called.
11 days ago.
promised that he'll update me on his well-beings.

now i know why long-distance never really worked out.
mr R.'s friend chatted with me online one week ago.
he was at Brunei too.
he told me mr R. has been busy these days.
with SOMEONE.
i knew. it was all over.
i wasn't worth it.
over.

he explained to me on the phone saying, "i fell in love with a Brunei gurl"
my world came crashing down.
i was in denial.
i never thought he'd do that.
after all, he's juz mr R.
i knew i wasn't worth it for him.
i was only his comfort zone.

yes. i'm sad.
heartbroken.
being left again.

like a JUNK.
LOSER.

i moved on.
living my happiest today.
but it wasn't enough.

all these questions was being drawn back to me.

"am i worthy of a guy?"
"will i found the one?"
"will any guy love me for who i am?"
"am i pretty?"
"am i ugly till u do not even wish to look at my face?"

i answered them easily.
i do not need all these.

i know that people love me the way i am.
i'm not going to change that.
i am who i wanna be.
it's me who have the GREATEST bunch of friends in the whole world.
it's me who have the most LOVING family in the whole wide world.
it's me who i really wanna be with for the rest of my life.

i do not need to be beautiful to have the confidence.
cause all that matters is the inside of me.
the one whom everyone loves and knows.

that's juz enough.

i'll find the PERFECT guy one day.
but not anytime soon.
cause my mum says beauty will grow.
yessssa.
i can't wait to see the product.
THEN START CHOOSING!!! =))

head over heels for my loving morientes who did not play for spain for world cup.

and he's a good friend of rauuul.

i juz looove morientes.

i'll post more of my fav. soccer players here soon. u'll drool. u'll see.

- disclaimer : confessions not done by me. =))

i'm a happy happy gurl.

tic toc no it's the clock again at
8:48 PM

Friday, July 07, 2006

alriiiight.

did i tell u guys how much i enjoy going shopping with my mum?
well, I REALLY LOVE IT.
i mean, like seriously.

i went to TKC after school to buy kerongsang for my cousin's wedding on sunday (majlis), pernikahan on saturday.
so i bought 3 beutiful kerongsang.
silver.
nice. nice. i loike.

so ya, then we went to impian hawa, this boutique that i always love to go. got lotsa baju melayu that i want to buy.
i went a little crazy but i manage to tone it down.
HAHA.

i wanted this baju & seluar suit.
but i realise it's too expensive.
then my mum volunteered to buy it for Hari Raya.
I KNOW.
that's like AGES.
but still, i always get what i WANT.

anyways, we bought bunga rampai next.
not that important in my life, as you know it.

so yea, we were all so hungry.
stomachs all growling and all that, we decided to go to compass point to eat Macs since opposite the TKC's Macs juz closed down.

so yea, i ate Mc Spicy and i decided to buy hair clips to look really CHIO on saturday and sunday.
HAHA.
EGO SIA. PERASAN ALSO.
i bought this colourful bunch of clips.
lovin' it.

then i went to my mum outside the Montip shop where i bought my hair clips.
i saw THE CONVERSE shop.
cause i wanted to buy this tote bag from converse stating SPAIN's name on it.
but i was too late, it was limited edition and sold out.

so i saw this gym bag, cost $59.90
i mean like wooaaah.
it even costs like $5 more than my adidas bag.
and guess what....
I BOUGHT IT.
i'm torn between the green yellow green bag and white red blue bag
my mum said that both are nice.
since i have one green mickey mouse bag, i decided to buy a blue one now.
cause i like don't have any blue bag.
with red stripes, same colour as my specs. =)).
so i bought it.

wanna know who paid for it?
I DID!
cause remember my birthday last last month on 23rd of may?
i was given money by my aunt, brother and mother.
i belanja my family with my bro's money.
so i was left with some money.
i didn't spent it on anything cause i wasn't interested in buying anything yet till i saw that gym bag.
so yea, i paid $59.90 for it.

i think it's berbaloi.
worth it.
so yea. i'm gonna go to my aunt's house and sleepover there.
while showing off my NEW GYM BAG.
it is frrom some country but i don't know what.

nyehahaha.

waiiit.
before that, i have to practice sashaying first with it to look really purrrfect and natural with it.

okie then.
maybe on monday i'll use it.
who knows? ;)

adios amigos.
andre andre.

tic toc no it's the clock again at
5:48 PM